Friday, June 27, 2008

Sad Goodbye

Have you ever had something in your life that you know God brought to you, but after a while you knew its season in your life was over? That it was no longer affective or functioning as it was meant to and that God wanted you out before it was too late?

I have had two such experiences in my life. The first being Grace Christian Academy. God knew it was time for the madness to stop there and before He allowed them to close be made a way for my family and blessed me with a job where I was making twice as much an hour....I got the final word that I was hired on the exact day Grace closed its doors. On that day I was so thankful that God had made a way for me.....even though I didn't want to leave. I loved working there....but things were not right....and I knew I had to get out.

Recently, I had to make the decision to leave a forum that was a blessing to me. We saw each other through surgeries, biopsies, death, deployment, parenting, and a host of other situations and emotions submarine wives find themselves in.

But unfortunately, it turned into a place of power for some, a place to pick fights and arguments for others. Some used it to gather information and use that information in other forums or for their own personal use. There were divisions and strife that some members were content to feed and allow to continue. Others wanted to listen to what others had to say, offer their advice....but never share anything REAL about themselves. Some didn't have anything to say for the almost the whole year I was there...until there were arguments...then they wanted to be in the thick of it.

Now....let me say there were also some stellar ladies there....ladies of true faith, who love the Lord, and have the ability to be real. This is the reason I did not want to leave...these ladies added something invaluable to my life...and I did not want to release that. But in the fashion that is all Him...God made a way for these wonderful ladies to be in my life.

I struggled for a long time.....I didn't want to leave. I struggled before the big blow out that was there....because I didn't agree with how things were done. I believe in order and doing things decently and in order...I don't do well with chaos...that's just me. But I had hoped things would get better...they never did. EVEN after everyone was "supposedly" honest about what was going on....so I deleted my membership.

It was sad and when I log onto the site I automatically scroll to where the link from that forum is supposed to be....but its gone...*sigh* I am sad but I know it was for my own good because it was no longer a healthy thing in my life.

It's Friday

Well it's Friday of VBS week and I am so tired that as I sit here my eyes are leaking. I am not crying my eyes are watering from exhaustion. But my friends it is worth it....because 35 children gave their lives to Christ last night......35 out of the 74 in attendance, and a good number of the reamining 74 have already made a commitment to Christ. It is an amazing thing that God has done this week.

The children were soooo excited and enjoyed each and every activity. The teens and adult volunteers are having a ball.....several of them asked if we could do it for two weeks next year......I am going to have to pray about that! The fellowship has been amazing for all ages!

I am so thankful and now maybe there are tears running down my face!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

God Blessed Me Today!!!

God blessed me today with an hour and a half of extra sleep.....translation....I overslept! I rolled over wondering why I was waking up before the alarm clock, opened one eye and saw that it was light outside, jumped up and looked at the clock....it read 5:30am. I was suppose to have been at work for a half an hour already!

So I jumped out of bed threw on some clothes (at first I thought I had put Britt's pants on....but when I weighed myself later I found that they were indeed mine and that I had grew!), bushed my teeth, and pulled my hair up. I made it to work by 5:55am, to find a parent had just pulled up about five minutes before that!

So I waited for Shalei to come in then I ran home for a shower and some pants that fit!!!!!

Now, I am at my desk typing furiously to keep all of you updated....and too look busy!

VBS makes me want to cry...actually I did cry a little last night. Because you see VBS is not only for the kids...its for the adults and teens also. I saw adults that I would have never gotten to volunteer in Children's Ministry working with the kids and loving every moment of it(I see some future children's ministry teachers.....look out I am on the prowl!) I saw the adults who work the stations, dinner, and registration talking and chatting...complete with ministering going on.

Our station leaders really are the bombdiggity this year. They are on the ball and have brought more to the table than ever before. There were kids walking around with things and sayings that we had never heard....after more research we found that he station leaders had gone all out with their props and preparation. I am confident that next year they will be completely ready in May....shhh don't tell them but I already know what the theme will be next year! They put so much of themselves into what they are doing I know they will be abundantly blessed.

Our parents have come out and seen a completely different side of what children's ministry has to offer...I know we rocked their socks off!

The teens are really having a great time! This is where I cried last night....imagine 67 kids and 54 adults/teens shouting out to the Lord. Imagine the teens praising and worshipping along side the younger kids....it is an amazing thing. Anyone who thinks ..."It's just Vacation Bible School" has never experienced VBS. I had my first VBS experience three years ago as an adult.....and it was amazing!

So....tonight is day three and we get ice cream floats.......God gives us the power to be helpful.....AHA!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

My Eyes Are Crossing......

Yes, I am so tired my eyes are crossing. It's not a bad tired, just a simple tired. It is Tuesday of Vacation Bible School week....if you have ever experienced something like this you understand...if you haven't let me see if I can help.

Imagine planning for an activity for a year to six months, with such dedication that you eat, sleep, and dream ideas and thoughts. Then you begin creating the atmosphere and paper work, organize the workers, children, food, and about a thousand other things. Then you put together an amazing set and wonders that will catch the eyes of those children that God is calling. You walk away from the creation with immense satisfaction and peace.

Then it begins....five nights......anywhere from 60-100 children a night......62 adult/teen volunteers......While you are exhausted and you can't even fathom where you will get the energy to make it to the closing prayer on Friday....you have this goofy smile on your face and you are singing and humming catchy little tunes from Praise and Worship all day.

It's like magic.....but it's not...its a gift from God....it's called anointing. It is His power and strength that get you through the long days and short nights. It's about reaching His children....young and old....planting seeds that will remain with these children their whole lives. Ask anyone who ever attended VBS as a child.....they have vivid, detailed memories of those times. It is a gift that only God can give and we are only the vessels He uses to create those memories and lay the foundation of His love in the lives of these children.

None of this is done by one person, but by a group of people put together for such a time as this. I am blessed to have a sister in Christ that I have appointed the VBS director...she is most gifted in creating the excitement in the adults to reach the children for the Lord and exciting the children to want more of the Lord. The rest of the team is made up of dedicated and committed volunteers who act just like kids for a week.

The fellowship from beginning to end is amazing. It begins with the prep work...painting, meeting, shopping, organizing, and paperwork. It continues as the teams come together each night and work with one thing in mind...reaching the children for God. However, in that an amazing thing happens.....God works in the adults as well. Last night I saw two ladies who really don't get along....sit....laugh....and talk for hours.

The amazing power of God that is displayed gets me through the petty complaints and minor mishaps...because adults....this week it isn't about us.....it's about the kids. So remember to check yourselves....and your attitudes at the door....does your issue or complaint really that important that you would allow it to get in the way of what God is doing here? Ask yourself that before you allow it to leave your mouth....and better yet....ask yourself before you allow it to set up camp in your heart and mind.

I LOVE VBS!!!!!

PS.....They have a contest going on......for the next four days it is girls against the boys to see who can take the most up in an offering for the missions project. If the girls win they choose an adult male to slime on Friday....If the boys win they chose an adult woman to slime. (Why is it when Tonia said that Mona stood behind me and pushed me forward slightly...lol) Please pray that the girls represent and keep the sisters clean!

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Productive Weekend

Was it just a week I ago I wrote that it was time to go home already? Wow time flies...unless of course you are waiting for your hubby to return from sea *sigh*

Well, this weekend was busy and mighty productive and amazingly relaxing. Friday night began with me ending my fast with some Panda Express orange chicken (note to self...orange chicken is not the best way to end a fast) and painting for VBS at the church. It was a great time with friends painting and fellowship. Rick even called and we passed the phone around so that he could talk to all the people he misses.

Saturday morning started at an early 6:30am Breakthrough prayer. Now let me say that going to prayer that early in the morning is not something that comes easy and is usually proceeded by some arguing with my flesh. But this week was the bobbdigity (yes I did say that and no Mel it is not real word) It was a right on time word for right where I am. I prayed with Children's Ministry and was off for coffee and supplies for VBS work.

After a meeting I was on my way to VBS preps. We started at 10 am and finished at 9pm. Don't freak on me here...we made stops to eat, run to the store for more supplies, and of course ferry my kids all around the island. It was a very relaxing and productive time. This was due much to the fact that my friend Ms Ella had Zach and he spent the day and night with her and her family...they so rock in my eyes! Me and Mellie accomplished all we set out to do with a lot of talking and laughing going on.

Early Sunday morning I hit the floor running after a nice long chat with Rick on the phone. Once I got to church it was full steam ahead. Today our ministry honored the graduates who graduated from high school and college. So I ran down the street and got my certificate and ran down the street back to the Children's Ministry.

Once church was over the transformation began...we changed our ordinary children's ministry into a Power Lab complete with beakers and flashing lights. The turn out for help was overwhelming and we were done by 5pm. Not bad considering church went long and didn't end until 1pm.

I even had time to come home, clean, work out, and cook (ok reheat something...but I used the stove)

I may be MIA this week....plenty to do at the lab...but I will send pictures and updates when I can. Or if I get a bee in my bonnet I will of course have to share it with you all....ranting and raving to myself just isn't as much fun as sharing with you!

Thursday, June 19, 2008

True Friends

Have you ever wondered what a true friend was or looked like?

To me a true friend is not one you have to ask for their help everytime you need it.....most of the time true friends know when you need help and will make you take their help whether you want it or not for your own good.

A true friend does not keep score of how many times they have been there for you or how many times you have been their for them...they just embrace the fact that they know that when you need each other you will both be available.

A true friend does not hold you back from what is good for you...even when it takes time away from your relationship with them.

A true friend does not ask why you will or will not do something...they know without asking your stance and respect that stance.

A true friend will take some crazy pictures to send you hubby while he is on deployment.

A true friend knows when you need a hug, a card, a text, a piece of candy, a cup of coffee, and a swift kick in the pants.....and is able to deliver all of them with love and a smile. AND when that friend is operating under true friendship, you receive it....whether you want it or not.

A true friend has seen you at your worst and loves you more because of it.

I thank God for all the true friends He has blessed me with and I pray that I can be just as good friend.

Am I A Bad Mother?

Ok, so I went upstairs and opened Diva 1's door to find both Diva's sitting on the bed with empty candy wrappers all around them, phones in their hands and a guilty look on their faces. As soon as I asked them what they were doing, they busted out laughing.

Apparently, they were crank calling the 800 numbers on the back of all the candy companies and asking them crazy questions or making equally crazy suggestions. For example they called the makers of Sour Patch Kids demanding to know why the actual pieces of candy did not have faces like those shown on the bag. They called Twizler and asked them why all their candy had to be red. Dove refused to talk to them...can ya blame them?

Next they moved on to calling their Aunt Cole, blocking their number, asking her to buy Girl Scout cookies....unreal.

But here is the reason why I ask if I'm a bad mom....I didn't stop them....this is why: These two haven't gotten along for at least two years ( I may be exaggerating...but not by much) and because they found something that caused them to get along, I did not want to interrupt the flow of sisterly love...so does that make me a bad mom?

I mean if they were committing a crime or they appeared to be thinking about going all Thelma and Louise on me then I would have stopped them...but were they really doing any harm?

Pray for me!

The Mullet

I am still recovering from the flight home...across the country with my three children so I am not digging very deep here today. But I would like to comment on my sisters Cole's comment in the previous post....the hair style that Buffalo will not let die.

This would be the mullet...I cannot tell you how many mullet's I saw while I was at home. What is wrong with these people do they not understand that the mullet has been dead and buried for years? Everywhere I looked there was a mullet....it was like Old McDonald had a Farm...here a mullet, there a mullet, everywhere a mullet.....

My sister and I went to Tops for milk (LONNNGGG story...but you will here about it for many years I am sure). Anyway as we were pulling out of the parking lot there was just the biggest truck with numerous hillbillies (yes there are hillbillies in NY..and is hillbillies one word or two?) inside. We just looked at each other and said, "Is everyone around here a hillbillie?

I don't understand the refusal to allow the mullet to die. It was not great while it was here and now that it has overstayed it's welcome it is even less attractive than it was back then.

Monday, June 16, 2008

I'm Going Home Tomorrow

I am going home tomorrow and I am not ready...but ready at the same time.

I don't want to return to parts of my crazy life in Hawaii..there is too much on my plate right now and I have no one to blame but myself. Well, that's not entirely true. I plan all the events in my life far enough in advance that they should not conflict or run into each other. However, what seems to happen is that other people do not plan as far in advance as I do and when they go to make their plans I get sucked into their madness...which in turn makes my life full.

Now I have to say that I have learned to tell people no and that I have learned to delegate, so that really isn't really the problem. What happens is that I have certain roles and positions in my life that require me to fufill certain obligations, whether I want to or not. So even in all my orgaization and struggle to plan so that I am not overloaded, other people and responsibilites crowd into my life.

I don't want to return to people not fulfilling their obligations or telling me to my face that I need to rest and delegate to others, but then those same people fail to complete or do what they are to do. If you were really that concerned for my health and wellness then you would offer more than lip service...you would put your money where your mouth is and do what you are suppose to do.

I hate that my siblings and I live in three different states....three on the east coast and me in Hawaii. I love them and wish that we could be more apart of each others lives and that our childen could know their aunts and uncles.

However, I do want to go home to my house...the one God has given me. Buffalo, NY is not somewhere where I would want to live.....I can't even explain the mindset of the people here.

I want to go home where I can send my kids out to play and have peace because they are on their turf and know what to do to amuse themselves. They had a great time here, but there is nothing like your own friends and room.

I really just want to crawl under the blankets and pull them over my head....

In the past week I have helped sift through my late grandfathers life, sell it, throw it away. I have come to realize that my parents are not going to live forever. I have received news that my husbands orders have been changed and we will be doing at least another year on the clownbus.

I could say I want my mommy...but I am here with her...so I know and I knew it before.....I want my Savior. There is a place inside of us where we hurt than no one outside of God can touch and heal. Even if our spouses, parents, friends, and children have the best intentions and attempt to assist us...there is a place that only God can touch.

So, my friends...I am going to switch my laundry, finish packing, and prepare to cry all the way accross the country and the ocean. I will probably cry for at least the next couple of weeks..that's what I do when I can't do anything else..I cry tears and I cry out to the only one who can heal me.

I will however, blog about the hail, thunder lightening, power outage, garage sale in the hurricane, and the trip to Six Flags...which really isn't a Six Flags anymore. Complete with pictures and hopefully some of my spunk!

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Quick Post


Ok...in Hawaii I have a theory....if I want all greenlights I have to plan to put my make-up on, on the way to work....then I will have all green.... However, if I don't plan to put my make-up on then it will be red lights all the way!


But today I saw something that put me over the top.....A portable signal. It was in the middle of timbuktoo and of course my sister and I both proud members of the NY Griswold family had to stop at it twice!!!! I have never in my life seen a portable signal before....never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined such a thing...but there it was right in the middle of no where....for me to stop at.


You know what else I discovered they have in NY....they have children's playrooms in the grocery stores. You sign your child in and someone watches them for free while you shop....color me crazy! Why can't they have something like this in Hawaii. Of course if they did my children would manage to get themselves banned...but still the option would be great!


I have many deep insights to share from this trip....but I will wait until my sisters fly out...or maybe even until I think about them all the way across the ocean...to post them.

On Vacation....

Hello, all my friends......I am enjoying my time in NY on vacation.
I have slept late, ate all my favorite local foods, laid in the hammock in the backyard, and I even started getting email from Rick!

I have a lot to write about....but I am at a strategic place right now....sharing the bathroom with my sisters...wow! Does that bring back memories. I have one who showers for 30 minutes...so its a must to get in there before her. Then the other one who drags her feet and is suppose to be in there right now....but I hear her talking in the living room. I am contemplating sneaking in there to do my hair and make-up.

Speaking of hair...in NY I have great hair...its big and fluffy! Must be the water. Is it selfish of me to want to move here when we retire...just so I can always have good hair?

Bathroom is freeee...I'll be back later...Love you all!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

OJ's Graduation





You , all may be wondering why I am posting about all of these graduations....well to me they are the beginning of the next stage of my life. You see D and OJ (I'm not being funny here...this is what they go by) are the two young gentleman that begin that journey for me...and several other parents. My daughter, along with three other very close seniors will graduate next June. While we are counting down the days until she graduates..I'm almost positive that I am not ready for this stage.....

Anyway....OJ's graduation was the perfect example of why I love the family God has given me in Hawaii...we were all there sharing in his accomplishments....like a family should!
OJ has come into his own over the last year or so...finding a confidence and strength that we had not seen fully before. We all watched, biting our nails as he played in the state Basketball Finals, crying as they were robbed in overtime by one point. This confidence and positive attitude was shining bright as he hammed it up for his fans (aka his family) on graduation night!
Pictures: OJ and his other little sister...Britt, Oj waving to his adoring fans, and the Woods Family celebrates!
CONGRATULATIONS OJ!!!!!


JJ's Graduation


















Well, it is over JJ has left Junior High and moved on to High School. We did the football physical and he now waiting to start practicing.
The graduation was less than thrilling and I had to ask Ms Fran if she had experienced the same twitch that I had. Ms Fran and I are used to graduation ceremonies that having meaning and are meant to be life changing! This one...they walked across the stage shook someones hand and picked up their diploma in a classroom. There was no song, no words of inspiration....
The first picture is of Joshua and his forever friend Andrew. Next, there is Joshua, Andrew, and Netta. Netta was not looking forward to the picture taking but we promised that she would not have to have her picture taken with them until they graduated from high school. Finally, there is a picture of Becca, Joshua, and I.


CONGRATS TO ALL THREE OF YOU!!! I LOVE YOU!








Thursday, June 5, 2008

Another Graduation Today

Today my JJ graduates from Jr. High...which means he will be a freshman in high school in a few months...my son! Where has the time gone? Where is the little baby that would insist that I "rubba his head" so he could take a nap? OH!JJ was a wonderful baby and toddler...actually J had it together until he hit JR high.

I never really had any problems from him....good eater, good sleeper.....behaved for the most part. I don't think it was until puberty started that he gave me any trouble. He has decided to be a professional football player....a goal I admire. However, it took me a year and a half to convince him that he could not be drafted right out of high school and that he would have to go to college(and I'm still not sure he completely believes me now) Yes, Joshua you have to do well in school because you can't go to college if you don't, and if you don't go to college you can't play pro ball.

Josh is an extremely intelligent child...he just lacks motivation. He has an engineering mind. When he was three he would construct all kinds of contraptions and systems out of buckets, string, and other household items that would allow him to pull toys from the bottom to the top bunk, he rigged his closet to do all kinds of things. The boy has brains....and he has potential...we just have to figure out the key motivating factor. I may tie his grades starting in his freshman year to him getting his driving permit.

Lucky for me Joshua has not discovered how good looking he is...or how that power may be used. Hopefully, he will continue on the path he is in that area. Although 14 Joshua is still a kid at heart...give him a playstation or a wide open field and a football and he is happy. At the park near the house, the neighborhood boys his age run to the sidelines to suck face with their "girl friends" between plays....Josh is intent on setting up the next play.

He attempted to have a girlfriend...because his friends thought it would be a good idea...he was completely out of his league...and his siblings of course ratted him out, bringing that to a quick end.

So today my Bubby will move onto the next phase of life....and there's nothing I can do about it but pray for the best and trust that he will stick close to God and follow the path He has for him!

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

And another thing....

Ms. Hope I did get TWO coffees today! One hot and one cold....

But can someone tell me why my children go through food like lotus? I mean for real I went to Foodland on Sunday and stocked up on lunch and snack supplies...they had an awesome sale.

Last night (Tuesday) there was nothing left....and I am talking about the big bags of individual chips, tons of 32 oz Powerades, bananas, apples, tangerines......all gone!

Do they even bother to eat food or do they just munch through the snacks, hunched over the table looking over their shoulders making sure no one is going to try to take their food? I know that they eat in the living room(even though they swear they don't)......otherwise our snacks have magical wrappers that can jump into the living room from the dining room.

I am considering building a snack shelter...you know kind of like the bomb shelters they used to have back in the 50's and 60's.....to protect you in case we were ever under attack by bombs...I need to protect the snacks from my kids.....that and my budget.

You hate to tell them they can't eat or to ration their food out...but dang. I also know they hand the snacks out to the neighborhood...like they are running a market out in the garage...and if this is the case I want my cut!

I had to go back in and edit this one because I forgot the thing that really spurred this blog today.....

So Tuesday evening after I get home from Bible study and eat a small bag of pretzels for dinner....and get ready to pass out in my bed two of my children decide to tell me that they need snacks for their parties the next day. I have to wonder if my children are brain damaged.....if I have said it once I have said it a thousand times...you need to tell me BEFORE I go to bed that you need something for the next day.

In the perfect world I would be able to buy extra boxes of brownies, cookies, and chips etc for such situations and keep them on hand...but I am not able to because...the lotus will eat them...so even if I plan ahead my attempts are foiled by the bottomless pits I call children!

My favorite is that Diva 2 waited until 9:30 last night to share that she was out of pads....I think I may by those by the truckload and store them in the garage!

You have it so easy.....

OK I may ruffle a few feathers here....

My husband has been active duty Navy for almost 20 years....all 20 done in the submarine community. We have done 9 westpacs, 1 norpac, 5eastpacs, 1 trip through the Panama canal, 8 rimpacs, and I don't know how many local ops, ores....and all those other acronyms. There have been years where he was gone 298 days out of 356. So it is safe to say that we have done more than our fair share of separation.

Here is my issue......If I hear from one more Army or Marine wife how easy I have it because my husband only does 6 month deployments...instead of 15 I may lose it.

This is why I may lose it.....up until 5 years ago it was very rare for an active duty Army soldier to do a 15 month deployment....I know some retired Army people who only did a couple 2-4 month deployments in their whole career. My husband has been doing deployment fro 20 years....

Let me tell you how a deployment works....First you return from a 6 month deployment and get a break for ABOUT 30 days.....then you start getting ready for your next 6 month deployment which will be 12 months from your return. Getting ready includes all kinds of certifications, exams, and drills......99% of which will be done at sea....so you go in and out for the 11 months prior to your deployment. Then you are gone for the month before the deployment ...only coming home for a few days before you leave for 6 months...OR as in the case of one boat...a few hours.

Once you are out there you do not get to talk on the phone but once every couple of months or so and email is delayed and a joke. Everything you write gets read by everybody and their brother before it gets to him. Not only that you can go through periods of no communication for 2-3 months.

I really feel for those who have to be separated for the 15 months and I applaud them and their families. I also feel that we all have a job to and none is more important than the others............

BUT please do not tell me how"easy" I have it compared to you.....because I would never mutter those words to you!

Spiritual Gifts....

Our Children's Ministry has our Bible study on Tuesday evenings because we aren't ususally able to make it to the regular classes because we are working with the kids. So we asked if the Evan over the Foundation Dept and her husband would teach a class just for us. They agreed and we love it!


We have been studying the Spiritual/Motivational Gifts since October. It has not only helped us as individuals, but it has helped us to recognize each others spiritual gifts and how we can all combine our gifts to work as one.


Last night we started the gift of Leadership. At the beginning of the session in October we took a spiritual gifts assessment and my strongest score was in leadership. Last night was really eye opening for me. I was fully aware of alot of the characteristics of a leader, but now I have a greater understanding of some of the frustrations and pitfalls of that gift.


I have found myself recently as part of a group where there was no clear leadership and general chaos....and I was frustrated beyond belief. Last night I learned that those with the gift of leadership cannot deal with lack of or poor leadership...it frustrates that gift within them. However, in a place where there is strong leadership and clear, concise organization a person with the gift of leadership can be an excellent follower.


Another thing we learned is that if there is already a leader in a group or situation that is not an effective leader, someone with the gift of leadership will not step up to take a position of leadership....but if there is no leader and it is clear one is in need they will step up without being asked.


So.....these are my personal thoughts........I find that if I am in a group that has a leader that is ineffective or there is chaos I will pull back. First reason being that I cannot deal with chaos, the second being my fear that if they don't get their act together that I will step in and seem bossy...because I am frustrated with the way things are going.


Alot of people are intiminated by people who have the natural gift of leadership. They see them as bossy or pushy and believe that they think more of themselves than they ought to.


Me....well it has taken me a long time to be comfortable with who I am and who I was created to be. When Rick and I began to be moved into positions of leadership and received promotion after promotion, I was scarred witless. I was not comfortable in my own skin....I questioned each decision I made, every word I spoke, and wondered if I would ever be comfortable in the positions that God has placed me in.


Now eight years later I can say that I walk in the roles that I was ordained to walk in. I don't question every move I make and every word I speak...occassionally some...but I think that only happens when I allow the enemy to use others to drop things in my spirit...my fault for receiving it.


With this acceptance of who I am called to be and do comes a confidence....one I have learned to stop questioning and embrace. It took me many years to arrive at this point and I will not aplolgize to anyone who feels threatened by it, or perceives it as something other than what it is.


I can say this because before I understood the Spiritual gifts that God has placed deep inside of us...I would think...who does she/he think he is....? Because I did not understand their spiritual gifts, nor was I confident in my own.....so I questioned their ability to walk or operate in something I felt tugging at me.... It was a form of jealousy.....like my spirit recognized the gift operating in their life...but my flesh didn't understand it.


I now accept my gifts, and walk in them without apology or apprehension...and pray that others find theirs and embrace them...... I will not allow myself to be moved by those who doubt or question my gift...or feel threatened by it.


I am fearfully and wonderfully made....not only that God has thoughts and plans about and for me....who am I to question what God has ordained...further more.....who are you to question God?

Good Night Tuesday

Ahhh I am heading to head, wishing this Tuesday a fond farwell! My day was very productive...even thought I never got my coffee:) It had the potential to go bad this evening...I was grouchy and allowing the cares of this world to choke me.

Thankfully, I went to the small Bible study we have at church for Children's Ministry and got refreshed and motivated.....good night my internet sisters and good night Tuesday!

Four sleeps and four wake ups until I fly!

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Tuesday.....

Ok my friends it is 5:30am and I am ready to go to bed and not get up until 4am tomorrow.....but I have too much to do between now and bedtime....


This morning I chose to roll out of bed, jump in the shower, get dressed, and plop a baseball hat on my head...and I only have half my make-up on....not sure if I will find the energy to put the rest on. My glasses are on my face and my contacts are in my pocket. I am thinking that I need more than 5 hours of sleep a night!

My husband can and is fully functional on 5 hours of sleep...as a matter of fact if he gets 5 hours of straight sleep underway he is excited. During one of their last underways before they left he was up for 42 hours straight....this girl would have passed out in control...I would have been snoring and drooling right on the plotter.....so much so that they could have ran a flooding drill.

Prayerfully, by the time our new school year is here we will be fully staffed. You see the state has ratio requirements, so we are bringing our staff on as the ration requires, because there is no sense in paying teachers who have no students. Yesterday we went to two Lead teachers and one Aide. With four more children we will have to hire another aide. Additionally....believe it or not our other three lead teachers all had major surgery within a week of each other, so we are using substitutes for now. Once everyone is healthy and our numbers require all teachers to be present...I will no longer have to work 13+ hours.

I will actually get to sleep in until 6:30am....yes, as sad as it sounds that is sleeping late for me...2 1/2 hours later than I am used to!

There are several problems with me working these crazy hours...two that are really bothering me today...one is that I am too exhausted to work out and eating healthy is a challenge when you have no time to cook or even go to the grocery store....I have hit a stand still in my weight loss challenge!

The other is the lack of time to handle my finances which seem to be handling me at the moment...hopefully this time of rest at home will allow me to get refocused and back on track with both of these issues.

I keep telling myself only so many days and I'll be able to get on a plane and sleep all the way to my mom's....and I can sleep for the next 10 days....but here it is Tuesday and I need a three day nap already!


Hoping you all have a Terrific Tuesday...I know I am going to get some coffee and some time with the Lord...praying for the best!

Just did spell check and it didn't recognize the word underway...yeah its foreign to most people!

The Monday That Won't Die....

Ok...so we go to the cheerfabulous meeting...and God smiled on me:) The Cheer Queen actually had to apologize to everyone because of all the confusion and inconsistency. Apparently, the co-coach bailed on her with only 26 hours advance notice and she has been juggling everything by herself for the last two weeks. It is so wrong for me to think that maybe if some more of the cheer leaders in high school had bailed to join the real world, the rest of them might have had to deal with us commoners making for a much more enjoyable time?

Anyway I will email her tomorrow and offer my assistance in anyway...because that's what us commoners do!

We got to the MRI and it went very quickly...the trip there with Zman and Diva 1 arguing about the radio station, movie, CD that they wanted to hear was longer and much more painful than that.

Zman decides to wait until we are on H1 to tell me he has to go to the bathroom...I tell the poor boy he has no choice but to hold it. As I pull out into the driveway, he vaults out of the truck and runs into the house. By the time I get the truck backed in and turned off there is a great deal of yelling coming from the house.

J was in the bathroom and wouldn't let his brother who was about to explode in the bathroom. So instead of doing the smart thing and running upstairs to use one of the other two bathrooms he stands there yelling through the door. This brings Diva 2 over to join in....she is always game for yelling at anyone. I came into the house and tell him to run upstairs and use another bathroom....duh!

So I put all my stuff down and go upstairs to use my bathroom. When I get to the top of the stairs there is this awful stench. I walk into the Diva's powder room (which spends much more time smelling locker roomish than powder roomish) and the zman is on the throne surrounded by brown smelly poo....it's everywhere!

I need to take some time right now to explain that one of the Diva's is a germaphobe......really to a serious degree....so I knew I had to clean the poo up before she saw it. So I had him dispose of his brown underwear and I scrubbed the bathroom...it's now 9:30 pm and I am just getting home for the day....I had left at 4:50 am.

So here comes Diva 2 up the stairs to take a shower....she comes to look for some spray....and I knew it exactly where it was because I had just doused my whole side of the house with it....because ..wow...it was bad! Thankfully, she only noticed the smell and had no idea the destruction that had been cleaned up.

I am able to shower and get zman showered and in his pj's. Along comes Diva 1 to show me something that is bothering her on her chest...deal with that and her comes Diva 2 and your NEVER going to guess what she had to share with me.......and I blame my mother for this.....

Last week we were talking about the things she would need to buy at the store before we got there and she told me not to worry that there were pads and tampons at the house. I told her ...hellloooo I don't need them anymore and Diva 2 doesn't have her period yet. To which she replied...watch her get it before you leave......

Do you see where this is going? I think Diva 2 got her period...which doesn't make Diva 1 happy...because it has been something she has been able to hold over her sisters head...the fact that she has it and she doesn't. So Diva 1 gets all defensive and crusty when I ask if we have any pads.......hellooooooo helllllooooo Can you even believe they were arguing over PMS.....

Now my house is completely silent...except for the fish tank in zmans room that I refuse to add more water to because it sounds like a waterfall...its very calming. I am hoping that I can offically put this Monday to bed......

Monday, June 2, 2008

Monday Monday!!!

Well today has been a FABULOUS Monday....


I went online to pay my cell phone bill expecting it to be around $150...well imagine my surprise when it was $1112!!!! When Rick left I had his number suspended for 6 months because he has all the Internet and stuff on his phone. I asked them at least five times if it was going to mess my plan up...and of course they said, "NO." But of course it did. We had tons of rollover minutes and we never went over....but they altered our plan and took some of our rollover minutes which caused us to go over. The nice lady gave me a credit....but my bill was way over the $150 I thought it would be.


So then I go home to get Britt for cheer leading and I find a nice letter from my student loan company informing me that since I am no longer enrolled as a student my loan payments will start in 6 months.....Umm I am in the middle of a class, with three more to go before I am done.


So I called and the nice man informed me that it happens all the time with this school and all I had to do was have them update the records tomorrow. He was nice enough to inform me that there was another deposit scheduled to be made to my account with the school on the 10th to the tune of $5000 which they failed to cancel. Of course they were making sure they were getting their money while they screwed me!


I was able to call and schedule Britt's MRI....for the day I flew back home. I am cool with that.


Now on to cheer leading.....I have to be honest I did not like cheerleaders in high school...and I really don't like these coaches who one in fact is old enough to be one of those I did not like in high school....I have dubbed her "The Cheer Queen" So Cheer Queen has called a mandatory meeting for the parents tonight at 6pm.

While I am hot about the short notice...I am looking forward to giving The Cheer Queen a piece of my mind. You see....we signed a contract stating that we agreed to abide by all the conditions put forth by Cheer royalty. I was cool with that...however, what I am not cool with is the fact that I am expected to abide by all of their rules and conditions..and I am apparently not allowed to expect anything from them.

Organization, communication, and permission slips are all things I am not able to expect from the royalty. I am not allowed to expect them to be on site to supervise the girls at the mandatory gym across town, nor am I expected to sign a release for this trip. I agreed to drive one way in the afternoon if another parent can drive back into town.....the Queen said great...but never organized anything. So Queenie I have a list of expectations I plan on sharing with you today........................The first one is that we are not in high school anymore and the rest of us are not her subjects or her underlings.....look out!


Oh Yeah! In the mean time the MRI dude calls back and asks me if I want to come in today @ 8:30pm for Britts MRI because they had a cancellation. Every exhausted cell in my body screamed.NOOOOOOOOOO!! However, logic won out because I know I am not going to want to drive to the hospital the night I land. Additionally, I know she wants off those crutches....so I will be sitting in the MRI place with Zman at odark thirty .

Monday was absolutely Fabulous Darling!!!!!!
WOW! Have you ever been speechless? For those of you who know me, you know it rarely happens to me....but that's where I am at right now. I don't even know where to begin at this point.

Has there ever been a situation in your life that you knew was the beginning of the end and something inside of you knew you should walk away from it? Knew that no matter what was being said or done or the pretty words people were using were really not real or even close to bringing healing or closure? But you stayed because part of you needed what was there and would miss it?

So that is where I'm at I really don't believe that everyone means the words they are saying, nor do I believe that there is true forgiveness going on. You can still hear the bitterness in the replys and words. So even though the words are pretty the way they are being thrown around is ugly and the emotions and attitudes behind them are not healthy.

The other part of me wants to stay because it meets a need in my life. My life is not easy to understand. Very few people get the submarine force and our way of life.....sometimes it baffles me. Then add the fact that I am a Christian and you have even less people who understand me.

So I will do nothing until God tells me too...because if I walk away and its His will He will meet the need of fellowship and support.....one that is not a struggle to be a part of, one where there is no underlying strain...despite what is on the surface.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

My nephew...













Britt and D
Above: His proud Mom and Dad giving God all the glory for this moment! See mom's hands lifted in praise and Dad's hand on his head Praying?!












Him "Walking it Out!" after receiving his diploma!

So, now the count down is on for Britt, Rezzie, Alycea, and Jerrad....wow I ca't believe how fast the time has gone.
Yesterday, I ran into another nephew at the gas station as he filled up the tank to drive to work! His graduation is next Friday......so I will have more pictures to post for they have to have equal billing!

I am a blessed woman



God must have known I would need amazing friends...because He has given me some top notch ones! Last night we had a farewell for a amazing woman who has become a part of our hearts and it was good to get together with those who God has blessed you with and just laugh and share.

One of my regrets of living the military lifestyle is the fact that friends come into your life and then Uncle Sam sends them away...however that regret is also one of my favorite parts of military life. Now, when we travel to the mainland we have so many people to visit. My husband cannot wait until he retires and all the kids move out. He wants to travel to all the churches that are under our main church and visit. He spent 7 months grobacheloring it in Washington state and drove two hours each way every Sunday to visit our church there....loved being with family of only on Sunday's.