Our Children's Ministry has our Bible study on Tuesday evenings because we aren't ususally able to make it to the regular classes because we are working with the kids. So we asked if the Evan over the Foundation Dept and her husband would teach a class just for us. They agreed and we love it!
We have been studying the Spiritual/Motivational Gifts since October. It has not only helped us as individuals, but it has helped us to recognize each others spiritual gifts and how we can all combine our gifts to work as one.
Last night we started the gift of Leadership. At the beginning of the session in October we took a spiritual gifts assessment and my strongest score was in leadership. Last night was really eye opening for me. I was fully aware of alot of the characteristics of a leader, but now I have a greater understanding of some of the frustrations and pitfalls of that gift.
I have found myself recently as part of a group where there was no clear leadership and general chaos....and I was frustrated beyond belief. Last night I learned that those with the gift of leadership cannot deal with lack of or poor leadership...it frustrates that gift within them. However, in a place where there is strong leadership and clear, concise organization a person with the gift of leadership can be an excellent follower.
Another thing we learned is that if there is already a leader in a group or situation that is not an effective leader, someone with the gift of leadership will not step up to take a position of leadership....but if there is no leader and it is clear one is in need they will step up without being asked.
So.....these are my personal thoughts........I find that if I am in a group that has a leader that is ineffective or there is chaos I will pull back. First reason being that I cannot deal with chaos, the second being my fear that if they don't get their act together that I will step in and seem bossy...because I am frustrated with the way things are going.
Alot of people are intiminated by people who have the natural gift of leadership. They see them as bossy or pushy and believe that they think more of themselves than they ought to.
Me....well it has taken me a long time to be comfortable with who I am and who I was created to be. When Rick and I began to be moved into positions of leadership and received promotion after promotion, I was scarred witless. I was not comfortable in my own skin....I questioned each decision I made, every word I spoke, and wondered if I would ever be comfortable in the positions that God has placed me in.
Now eight years later I can say that I walk in the roles that I was ordained to walk in. I don't question every move I make and every word I speak...occassionally some...but I think that only happens when I allow the enemy to use others to drop things in my spirit...my fault for receiving it.
With this acceptance of who I am called to be and do comes a confidence....one I have learned to stop questioning and embrace. It took me many years to arrive at this point and I will not aplolgize to anyone who feels threatened by it, or perceives it as something other than what it is.
I can say this because before I understood the Spiritual gifts that God has placed deep inside of us...I would think...who does she/he think he is....? Because I did not understand their spiritual gifts, nor was I confident in my own.....so I questioned their ability to walk or operate in something I felt tugging at me.... It was a form of jealousy.....like my spirit recognized the gift operating in their life...but my flesh didn't understand it.
I now accept my gifts, and walk in them without apology or apprehension...and pray that others find theirs and embrace them...... I will not allow myself to be moved by those who doubt or question my gift...or feel threatened by it.
I am fearfully and wonderfully made....not only that God has thoughts and plans about and for me....who am I to question what God has ordained...further more.....who are you to question God?