Saturday, May 31, 2008

It's beginning.....

While my nephew is not my son....he still has a special place in my heart....after you have guided a child through their preschool years and have had them by the collar of their shirt at age 16 reminding them in love that God has a plan for their lives and that had better not allow some girl to mess it up.....they have earned a special place. So he graduated tonight and for me it is the beginning of the end.....for you see my daughter will graduate from high school next year no doubt with honors.

She will graduate and move on. Part of me is so excited for her. She has her whole life ahead of her....she will discover what God wants her to do with all the wisdom and determination she has been given. She will fall in love for the first time and perhaps get her heart broken. She will have many successes and hopefully for her sake few failures.

My kids take me to the gates of hell some days....and God knows I seek peace and a few moments to myself....and hoard my peace on a daily basis....but my daughter is going to graduate and move on in 358 days......

Granted her room will not be a mess....but neither will she be in it. She will not be arguing with her siblings...but I won't hear her everyday. She won't be wearing my shoes (nor will I be wearing hers) or "borrowing" my panties (gross)...but she won't be here to kiss good night.

So as the tears run down my face I am asking God to grant us some peace in this house so that we may enjoy our last year together as a family......

Friday, May 30, 2008

This week....

This week had turned out to be pretty decent.......

Today I have to take the Diva's back to the doctors to have their injuries checked. My daughters are very intelligent beings....having said that I am wondering why they are confused and frustrated because they are not healing as fast as they should be. Do you maybe think that it is because you lose the crutches every time I think a responsible adult is not looking and maybe because every time I turn around I have to tell you to put your sling back on. So this doctors appointment should be interesting. I am sure he has our psych referrals all ready and waiting....

Tonight I am trying to make my nephews graduation. I don't get off until 6pm and it starts at 6pm...I may leave early. This nephew is one of the first children to be in my daycare...he started at 3 years old and is now 18...this is the child who always had to have the red cup, fought with his brother about who would marry Brittany (at 2 and 3 years old), and the who had what appeared to be a scratch on his back that as a good auntie I put a band aide on(Just for those of you who don't know....with preschoolers band aides make everything better)...and it turned out to be the chicken pox. The nephew who has become the older brother to my four children. Wow...they grow up fast..... I love you go to college, walk in what God has for you, establish yourself, get married, and make me a that it?

Yesterday was an interesting day. I wonder at people who think that everything needs to be about them and then in turn spin people up so that they are going at it on their behalf while they sit back and act like the injured, uninterested party. I also wonder about myself....are my standards and expectations of people to I wrong to hold those who profess Christianity to a certain level OR should I be more gracious and merciful to understand that I am a blessed woman who has received amazing teachings which I had to wrestle with and in my time arrived to where God has placed me? Maybe I expect too much....maybe what is black and white to me is gray to others.

I really struggle with this because I want what is best for those around does when you see people wrestle with their flesh or in this case live in denial of the bondage in their own lives and how they allow it to spill over and become bondage to others....what are you to do. I know what the Holy Spirit has told me about these people and their struggles.....I'm just not sure they are ready for what God says....because once they hear it and receive becomes something that they can not hide from....something they must deal with...otherwise they will have no peace. So as long as they pretend that it is everyone else who is wronging them....and they are just the victim AGAIN...because that is part of their bondage....claiming the role of the victim over and over again...because they have never been delivered or healed of the they snuggle up to the role of the victim and refuse to come out.

I understand that it will hurt to come out......but your living in bondage and pain now.....allowing healing will rid you of the pain. I guess the reason I push is because I have tasted healing and freedom that can only come from being honest with God and yourself.

I need to be more compassionate I know....but I don't do well with those who are in denial...if you want to be honest and say hey....this is where I'm at...and you are seeking what God has for you...I can sooo relate. BUT when you want to stick your head in the sand and pretend.....I get tired of the broken recordness of you....the same mess over and over again.

I am a product of living with a Senior Chief.....those of you who know my man....know he says what needs to be said....sort of stating the obvious..where no one else does because of fear...and then moves to be part of the solution. Everyone knows that if you really want to know what is going on...the unsugar coated for real ask him or I. It is what it is......


Wednesday was cool...I got to see Mellie...we unpacked all the VBS stuff at church and went over the decorating plans...its going to be super cool....and for a tired woman she looked pretty put together....that's what opening presents will do for you...makes you gllloooowwww!

Tuesday I spoke at Pomaiak'i Preschools graduation. Had no idea what to say there...but God gave me a message for four groups of people there....said what He told me and I was done. My babies....will always be my babies gave me lei's and hugs on stage.....a group hug that knocked me on my bottom...good thing I wore pants! It was a good night and I was blessed to be a part of their family.

My daughter will say good bye to a very important family in her life tomorrow. My heart breaks for her....all I can do is pray for her.

I spoke with PSD yesterday because I still did not have my intenerary for my trip next week. Here is a a shocker...they sent it to the wrong email address....I knew they would. So they sent it to the right one and now I know when I am out of here for a little TLC from my family and 10 days of sleep!

For my appreciated Grammar Nazi...I know this is pull of too many periods and I made up words...but I just felt them inside of bursting to come out.....I love you!

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

The weekend....

As the long weekend approaches we have such high hopes for the things we will accomplish and the rest we will get and before we know's the Monday night before the Tuesday that will actually be a Monday. Where did the time go? How did we not accomplish all the things we set out to do?

Well. Friday evening began with a trip to Sizzlers for a dinner with former fellow teachers from Grace Christian Academy. It was a nice time, but would have been better if we would have had more room to move around and fellowship. But we decided on a date for our second annual reunion.

Then the keiki (kids...for you non Hawaii kind people!) and I went to Borders. Now the two younger ones and I are readers.....Becca already finished her book and is lurking to get some more by the same author that her sister has and Zac is focused and reading his book. Joshua does not like to read...but did want the movie..Outsiders.

I would have loved to come home and read the night away, but my eyes had other plans and kept closing. Saturday morning I got to sleep in for the first time in over two months. It was amazing. The I got up and cleaned and made the keiki clean also....that was fun! We had a birthday party in the afternoon and that served to tire them out:)

I had to make a trip to Costco....I know.....HATE it on Saturday afternoons. So I load my cart up with snacks for Children's Ministry for....four weeks. Now that's alot of snacks.....16 cases of Kirkland juice to be exact. So the nice cart man loaded my cart as the cashier rang my bill up. As I am walking out their is someones Tutu in front of me (grandma). She is crawling along at a snails pace.....looking everywhere but where she is going....then bam! She stops in the middle of the I scurry to bring my cart to a I don't run into her...two of the cases of juice slide off the front of the cart and bump her foot. She turned around and gave me stink eye...ummm helllloooooo maybe you should watch where you are going Tutu! Her friend pulls her head out of an unknown location and says..."Oh! did she run into you?" To which I replied, "No! I did not run into her....the juice slide off my cart and bumped her foot shen she came to complete stop in a line of people moving out!" She acted so hurt...her foot was not even red...she was putting on quite the act....but even the lady at the door acted like she didn't see her drama.

I mean come on...maybe they should put some kind of sign up or make announcements that say...Please keep the line moving, do not stop or leave the ride for any reason, doing so may cause bodily harm. I mean come do stop dead center of a line that is moving? She is probably the same lady who was having trouble finding her way out of the parking lot!

That evening I went to dinner and a movie with Carolyn...What Happens in Vegas...pretty good clean flick. Maybe that should be my motto when I go to Costco....What Happens in Costco stays in Costco. Next on my list is Maid of Honor.

Sunday of course was church. Now this is where it got kind of yucky...not the church part...the church people part. You see I have four high maintence children...this is not anything new to me. AND it is not anything new to the people at church. HOWEVER, this Sunday a comment was made that really hurt me. It hurt for several reasons....1. I have done nothing but support this person...100% 2. The persons child is young and has no idea what can and will happen with her in a couple of years....personalities change and they may pick things up at school that you would rather they don't. That's all I have to say on that because I am truly hurt.

After church I left the kids to clean their rooms and ran away to get a pedicure. Thankfully none of them called me to tattle or nag...they just stayed in their rooms and cleaned. I then cleaned my room and bathroom from top to bottom....gotta be a good example you know!

Sunday night I attempted to clean out some of the drv shows that were sitting there and read my little heart out. I slept in again Monday morning...ahhhh. I got up at around 9:30 and cleaned, watched dvr' shows and read.....besides a little straightening up and laundry I did nothing....absolutely nothing.

The sad thing is...I didn't clean out the truck or wash it like I wanted to......but maybe I'll make Joshua do it tonight.

So I am wresting with the whole comment about my kids thing.....I know I should forgive and move on...that's the right thing to do. AND I want to I really do ....because after all our friends are human and they will let us down....I am sure I have let people down and I would want the same.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Thursday nights......

The Zman making his cupcake cones:) I am super duper tired...had a great week at work....for real...God is good!

BUT we have one home project due tomorrow that involves baking cupcakes in ice cream cones....I WAS prepared. Monday Zman and I did the shopping for the project in the commi. He had to make a dish to share with his class for under $5. So we bought ice cream cones, frosting, and cake mix. We didn't need to buy eggs and oil because we HAD plenty at home.

So I pop over to Longs after work....which I was late leaving because we had a parent run late to buy a poster board and then over to Foodland for things that Britt needed for a cheer event tomorrow. Now, I am riiipppppeeedddd with the whole cheer thing right now...not at my daughter but at the disorganized having to buy goodies that they just told her today she needed did not make me feel cheertastic....but this post is not about that...maybe tomorrow!

I get home and we get inside. Zman has to wash his hands and I have to find the camera....which I put somewhere I know I would be able to find it...but someone who doesn't own the camera put it somewhere else.

After locating the camera and receiving a less than intelligent look from the offending child helping themselves to my things I go in the kitchen to get all the stuff out to make the find that someone used two of the eggs AND put the egg shells back in the carton AND put the carton back in the fridge. Do I even have to state how hot I was......anyway Zman runs to Mr Steve the neighbor and gets some eggs.

So now I am sitting here typing thinking about eating ice cream for dinner Again this week! I do my best to plan ahead and have everything ready for the week....why are there forces that work against me. I really really really want to be the put together mom and be cheerhappilicious .....and enjoy life with my kids but between disorganized coaches and egg eating children my best intentions are foiled once again!

Thursdays suck!

Crazy Drivers....

This morning I was sitting in the classroom with two of the babies watching Prince of Egypt contemplating what to write about. I came up with nothing....because I just don't want to write to write, I want what I say to give something to someone. I want to be used by God to allow people to relate to Him or each other. I want this blog to be more than my opinions...disclaimer....they may show up from time to time...because after all I am flesh:)

Even yesterdays blog about people seemed like my flesh and I had to rewrite it a couple of times...I knew I was suppose to write it....and I am glad I did...because Amaris's Mom was able to let go of somethings. AND let me say right here and now that she is so much more than Amaris's mom....I wish she could see herself how I see anointed woman of God, whose gift of dance is being perfected in the Lord, who ministers with such grace to those who she touches. If I could give her a screen name it would be Woman of Grace. I researched the word...and she exemplifies the Old Testament meaning of, loving kindness, sweetness, favor, and goodwill....that's her. early this morning I wrote nothing.....then I got in the truck for the 5 mile trip that takes me an hour to complete each morning. For those of you who have never visited Ewa Beach, Hawaii the traffic and the people in the traffic are unexplainable. As I sat in the truck and watched the audacity of some of my fellow commuters I knew I would blog about it today.

However, as I sat there...something I only do in the car...just sit there, God gave me something.....Just as there are different types of drivers on the road there are different types of Christians or church members.

Let's take the clueless wonder that thinks its ok to stick their arm out the window and wiggle their fingers at you, attempting to get your attention, so that they can cut in front of you. These are the Christians that do their own thing and when they find that their stuff is not in order they want to wave their hands at you to get you to help them fix it. Now, I am not against helping your fellow man, but we all know those ones who constantly do what they want until they get into trouble and need some one to bail them out....that is aggravating. Why can't they just get in line and pay attention to the world around them, listening to God, so they are in the right lane when they are suppose to be.

Next comes those who speed along in either the right or left lane to avoid waiting when they know the lane ends and they need to get over...and then cut everyone off at the last minute. WHY WHY WHY do people think that what they are doing and where they are going is so much more important than where and what everyone else is doing? These people are the ones in the church who believe that their gifts and callings or ministries are more important than others. The ones who hog the rehearsal time or meeting rooms, don't feel the need to follow proper procedures and rules ....ect.

I have a confession to make on this one...this is how I deal with the above driver on the way to my son's school....we come across the four way stop and there are two lanes that will eventually merge into one. When we come across most people get in the left lane, where we will all end up....unless there is no room then we get in the right lane and merge as we move on. Well some people feel the need to come across the intersection and get into the right lane, zoom past everyone and then cut people off. I have taken to positioning my monster truck just between the two lanes so those zooming up cannot pass me.....heeeeelllllooooo. It's not right of me...but I cannot deal with such blatant ignorance so early in the morning...pray for me!

Let's move we have the one who is just putt-putting along with no clue as to where they are going and what they are doing. Those are the Christians that go to church to go to church...there is no relationship and no purpose in their lives. They just frustrate people and stand in their way with the self-righteous and religious attitudes.

Finally, we have those who have learned to merge every other car, obey the speed limit, drive with courtesy and respect. These are the Christians who understand that we are trying to get to heaven and that no ones gifts, talents, or ministries are more important than anyone elses...that we are to make up one body and do all that we can to get that whole body to heaven.

God....I want to the driver that understands we are all moving in the same direction......

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Have you ever met someone.....

Who is always looking to be contrary or always looking for a offense in everything...everyone says????? UGH

Please explain to me why you think everything is about you? Why would a comment about Frosted Flakes be meant to offend you? And why when I am talking about the know it all at work.... would I be referring to you....after all we don't work together? My nosey neighbor was not a reference to live across town....... The comment about the annoying buzzing in my ear made by a mosquito...was not a reference to are a human being.....not an insect!

So if these comments were not meant for you why do you take such offense? Well....because while these comments were not being made about you at the time....they certainly do pertain how you come across to people!!!!!!!!

Communication Revision I think I figured it out with the help of an unsuspecting friend.

I was talking to my friend the day after I posted about not being able to talk to Rick. Now this friend lives the lifestyle I do...she knows the rules and the concerns with communication in my world AND she reads my blog AND we have had this conversation about communicating with our hubbies 100 times before.

So I am on the phone with her and she started to say something then stopped herself. I asked her what she was going to say and with much reluctance she told me...."I was going to ask you if you had heard from Rick!"

She went on to say that she knows in her mind that I cannot, shall not, have not talked to him.....but the words came to her and almost came out of her mouth. This is when it hit's like when someone asks if your broken leg hurts or when they say something like, "they'll be missed" when someone passes away. It's such a horrible thing and they feel like they need to sat something.....

Basically, people don't know what to say to's kind of like watching a train want to look away....but the horror of it all keeps you watching! So people want to make me feel better and of course talking to Rick would make me feel they ask if I have....whether they know I can or cannot.

So I will grin and bear the comments because most people are making them out of concern for me.........

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

OMG!!! News flash....Poptart shortage!

Why Why Why? Did I get a text message today telling me that noisemaker was hiding poptarts? Is there a shortage I don't know about? Did someone call the media?

I just went to the commi yesterday and bought 6 boxes all containing 6 packages of poptarts...why are we worried about where they are and who is eating them? I just don't get I missing something?

A wise and trusted woman in my life tells me that I will miss them when they move out....I don't want to call her a liar....but the thought "Are you crazy?" goes through my head whenever she says it.

What I wouldn't give for a constant dialog about poptarts and snacks and whose eating them.....

1. Who left the wrappers in the living room know the one you are not suppose to eat in? Every one's answer....not me....I can't even formulate words to address that right now....*(*&*&^%$#^!!!!!!!!!

2. Who left their dishes in the sink....not me again.

3. I have found poptarts still in the wrapper in the laundry room...between the washer and drier.....and of course the child who hid them forgot where he hid them and spent the morning three weeks ago yelling at the injustice of someone taking the poptart he hid........

4. My absolute favorite is when someone uses all the milk and doesn't tell me......

I just long for the days where the poptarts stay in the cupboards and the wrappers go in the trash...without 75 conversations taking place!

Super Sweet 16 I am from the MTV generation...the real for nothing and my kicks for free MTV. Back then it was about music and video' I have no idea what they are going for.

At this point in my life the only shows I watch on VH1 or MTV are the ones where they take you down memory lane....catching all that made the 80's something that those of us born in that era cannot seem to let go. So yesterday while at the doctors(oh yes the trip to Tripler gave me several issues to blog on....I am just pacing myself!) My Super Sweet 16 on MTV was on in the waiting room. OMG!!!! was that stuff for real? Even my daughters thought that stuff was over the top.

The little darlings( what they really were is not a nice word and I will NOT say it) were demanding, spoiled, obnoxious, and down right ugly(not physically).

For those of you who live in a safe world like I do and have no idea what the show is about let me enlighten you. The show is a reality type that takes you through the process of these little darlings planning their Super Sweet 16 parties...parties where the bill that their parents pay often would pay off half my mortgage!

One girl was dripping in $75K of diamonds....and you should have heard her as they bought them....can you say gag me with a spoon? Anyway, one wanted to look like Barbie....and searched all through New Orleans for a hot pink dress that made her and her fake boobs look the part(they had to be fake!) And each and everyone of those little darlings got new cars at their parties...and they weren't Toyota's either! One girl wanted a circus act in the hotel and was so horribly offended...crying offended that the hotel would not allow the circus performers to hang from the ceiling....heeeeellllllooooooooo!

The drama and the issues these chicks had had me laughing out mom turned around and was agreeing with me. My daughters were quite amused by the program.

But as I thought about made me mad. Here MTV is portraying this as normal and acceptable...normal for girls to have $200k Sweet 16's and normal to be allowed to act so disrespectful to their parents and adults.

Am I blaming MTV for America's youth being confused and misled....I guess they are partly to blame......but not as much as the stupid parents footing the bills for those parties and allowing their children to talk to them like they are trash!

What happened to Video Killed the Radio Star and I Want My MTV?

White Girls Can't Jump!!!!

Ok...let me start this out with a disclaimer for those of you who don't know me like THAT:) My family has a little more soul than most.....not because we are trying to imitate or be something we are not.....mostly because children are a product of their environment. This environment just so happens to be full of soul....that's all...that's prejudice meant in the title.


Saturday both of my daughters decided to play basket ball with the BIG girls probably have never been on a basketball court before this...oh wait! Yes, they have they are both they have at least cheered on one before. So, they decided they would play with the kids from the youth group. However, most of these kids play on some sort of team or in leagues...... From what I am told it was a game of 21, played half court with 18 players. Now for those of you who don't know 21 was meant to be played full court, with 3-5 players.

So I get the first text......Princess I think I just broke my arm. Call and check on her she says she's ok. 15 minutes later Princess 1 I fell and scraped up my hands and knees....I supermanned across the court. Supermanning in this case is her flying across the court hands out stretched in the superman pose.

Uncle Jay and Aunt Kat bring them home....LOVE them!! They get all bandaged up and we head out to the Children's Ministry graduation. Nobody seems worse for ware.

Well, the next morning there is plenty of moaning and groaning as we head out the door. More moaning at church by Princess 2. (Now, I need to add that Princess 2 tends to be a little on the dramatic side so it is often hard to discriminate between true pain and theatrical pain.)

All through the night they kept feeling the need to wake me up and tell me they couldn't sleep....well....I can so leave me asleep and we will go to the doctors in the morning. I get up Monday morning and call the adolescence appointments....but the Doctor wanted us to come in at 9am and he would see us when he could. We arrived at 9am.....well I dropped them off at the front door at 9am.....and then I drove around for 40 minutes waiting for a parking spot...that's a whole other blog.

Around 11am the doctor has a few minutes...we go back ...another daughters have a very high tolerance for they were laughing and joking and having fun. So because of their dispositions the doctor seemed sceptical of the seriousness of their injuries. He sent us down to xray.....and on the way out Britt's knee gave and we heard this huge popping noise...gross.

We get back upstairs and the doctor says..."Ok, Britt's knee has too much swelling and fluid for me to see the damage, we are going to put her on crutches and schedule an MRI when the swelling goes down. Becky just has soft tissue damage, but I want her in a sling. We wait for the comes our wonderful doctor...ok he says....the Chief xray tech and the peds xray tech reviewed Becca's films and her elbow is indeed she needs to keep the sling on 24/7.

All I could do is laugh...the doctor was finding the whole thing a little overwhelming and humorous himself. So I sat in the waiting room giggling...right alone with my girls...who between them make a whole being at the moment!

Those people who know us are not shocked that both of them are injured....if it could happen to would be our family!

Uncle Jay feels bad.....but I assured him it truly is not his girls should have known better.....and now they know....white girls can't jump!

Friday, May 16, 2008

Careful what you ask for......

Did you ever have something that you prayed, believed, begged, and just asked for with everything within you? Something that you trusted would happen all in God's timing, knowing it was His will for your life. Knowing that it was meant to be. You spent hours, days, and years dreaming about it..............and when it happens you are so blown away.......until reality hits.

It has happened to all of us, we pray and ask with all that is within us and are truly sincere about what we are believing God for. I believe that when we are trusting God for Him to bring our blessings to come to pass we focus on the positive things of the blessings and not the possible negative ones. So when we finally begin to walk in our blessings the negative is very apparent.

As prospective: home buyers, parents, business owners, graduates, drivers, newlyweds....ect we give some but little thought to the negatives of the situation we are seeking...

Prospective home buyers realize they will have to do repairs to their home and pay taxes. But being met with the problem of no hot water after a long day at work because the hot water heater went during the day and pay day is three days away is another reality.

Prospective parents have been told they will have endless sleepless nights, but nothing can prepare them for being awake with a screaming baby for three days straight....unshowered, hungry, and brain dead. AND let's not even get started on the reality of parenting teenagers.

Prospective business owners have been told that before they are in the blue they will spend much time in the red and that the business will become their lives. But until they have to face a payroll to which you have no roll...or work 13 hour days.....

Prospective graduates are anticipating being done with all the "work" of school and nobody telling them what to do that when they find that looking for, obtaining, and working a job is more work than school they are shocked.

Prospective drivers or car owners dream of the open road....they are shocked when the cost of the open road is $3.87 a gallon...driving was suppose to be a means to freedom.

Prospecive!!! They go into it with their eyes shut.....but bam! Once the honeymoon is over they have to learn how to merge two different styles of living into one, learn how to negotiate how to roll the toothpaste and how the toilet paper goes on the thingy.

So, I said all that to say.....when God blesses you with the desires of your had better know that anything worth having is going to take some effort to keep.

Lord, help us all! I have been piddling around for the last 15 minutes trying to decide what to write about....and as always talking to my children has given me inspiration....sigh

So last night there was a "discussion" about whose alarm clock was whose. Diva Daughter #2 insisted it was hers Noisemaker Son #1 claimed it was his. So after a 20 minute "discussion" about whose it was I told Diva2 that if she wanted the alarm clock soooo very badly that she could give the cell phone to her brother...since he would need something to wake him up.

Well, she wasn't having any of she wisely backed off. You see her phone is broken and Noisy Boy got his taken I gave it to her so one of them would have a phone when they take the bus.

So, this morning when I called to make sure they were up.....Diva asked if she had to give the phone to Josh....because he was insisting that is what I said last night.

My question is come he can remember a statement that I made (and twist it to say what he wants it to by the way) and be adamant about it happening. But he cannot remember certain rules and chores he has been living and doing for at least 7 years? How come he can't remember to sweep the floor everyday after school or to clean his room, or to not call his sister names .....but he can remember a comment I made about the phone?

Sometimes we are like that with God....we tend to overlook the commandments we are called to live by for our own spiritual well being....but we are always quick to ask God for a blessings or to remember a promise He made us.

Lord, please help me to not react like my children and overlook what is required of me as your child. Help me to obey your every command or small whisper you place in my life AND because of my obedience bless me according to your will. Help me to not see you only as a parent who gives, but also as one who deserves honor, respect, and obedience.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Communicating with Minors I have to go here today after all......

What part of I ran the dishwasher...unload it..... Is confusing or misleading to you? Let me tell you what it does not mean. It does not mean take all the dirty dishes and throw them in there with the clean ones and walk away. It does not mean look at me with that state of confusion look on your face when I call you back to the house to ask you what the Happy Hippo you were thinking when you put dirty dishes in the dishwasher with clean ones!

Cleaning your room does not mean to throw everything into your walk in closet and close the door......BECAUSE in case you have not noticed gifted child...... that is the first place I look when you convince me that your room is clean...every time..... the first place.

I am about to start making all of you sign contracts when we have conversations because.... if .....I hear you say one more time that...... I never told you to do that...when I know that I Drippin Dragon did...I may lose it!

Here are some more communication clues for dealing with minors....

1. Mom there is water on the floor in the bathroom...means I flooded the bathroom and now I'm going outside.

2. Mom I'm out of tampons/toilet paper/asthma medicine.....means....either I used the last bit quite a while ago and was to busy minding my own business to tell you...or...I just used the last bit and I need some right I'm spotting and can't breath and oh yeah I have poop!

3. Mom can I go to the movies? me and my friends want you to drive us to the movies and we live in Aiea, Mililani, Waianae, Ewa, and Hawaii Kai AND we want you to drive us and can I have some money?

4. Mom I have a project....means...Mom I have a project that is due tomorrow and I need your help and we need to go to the store.

5. Mom Josh and I got into a fight after school means....we broke your lamp.

6. Mom their picking on me at the park I caused problems at the park when I was teasing the girls or aggravating the boys and now they want to kick my butt.

7. Mom I cleaned my room and did my chores.....means....I have a big favor to ask you!

8. Mom I need to show you something (On Sunday evening.) means.... I have my report card...I got my report card Wednesday but I waited to show it to you until Sunday night because I didn't want to be grounded all weekend!

You can
You will
You shall
Learn to listen to the words coming out of my mouth

You can
You will
You shall
Wake up and smell the coffee
I can
I will
I shall
Put you on a lock down like you have never seen
BrittJoshBeckZach YOU ARE!!!!!



Communication is a funny thing...although at times nothing to laugh about......

This first thing I have to say is what really sparked this blog today...........I have told everyone in my life that I will not be able to communicate with my husband in ANY WAY for the next XX days(leave me alone OPSPEC freaks!).

What part of ANY WAY did you not understand?!? I am so tired of people asking my if Rick has called me? Ummmm...let's go over this again...he is on a submarine and there are no telephones that will carry any type of signal when you are XX miles (get back freaks) under water. No he did not call me for Mother's Day so stop looking at me like I have a disease when you ask me that question....I have decided to break it down into Dr Suessness so maybe some of you will understand.....

He cannot call me
He will not call me
He shall not call me
He cannot, will not, shall not call me Sam I Am.

He cannot call me from the ocean
He cannot call me from the sea
He cannot call me!

He wants to call me
He probably needs to call me
He would give one of his kidney's to call me

So get this straight
Get it good

Read it.....embrace it...try living it!!!!!!

Ok...let's move on.....

Don't you hate communicating with someone who is not listening? And you know in your heart of hearts the topic will come up again and they will act like it is the first time they are hearing of it. I am not sure if the people who do this are stupid, smoked too much pot, weed...or whatever you call it that it destroyed their memory cells, or just don't give a damn (ooopps! out loud voice) about what you are saying!

Good Lord, how can you look at me..appear to be listening...yet still not HEAR least when I ignore someone I pay attention enough to get the jist of what they are saying...enough that I can regurgitate it later if needed!

How about those that just choose to not hear you......(You)You are not good for me I can't be your friend....(Them)OK, well do you want to go to dinner and the movies next Saturday? (YOU)HEEELLLLOOOOOOO. Did you just hear me? (Blank Stare....Them) So which movie did you want to see again? UGGGGHHHHHH!!!

I cannot, shall not will not....go into communicating with children under the age of 18 today.....that is too much Suessness for this chick!

Love ya!

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Time Is Standing Still!!!!!!!

I just know it is. Today is only Tuesday of week (shhhh...can't tell you) that Rick will be gone...ONLY ridiculous is that?!? I have had pregnancies that have gone faster than this deployment!

I know I complain about being too busy....but I think it may be a good thing. It keeps me focused on just getting through this week...OK just have to make to Sunday afternoon and then Children's Ministry Grad and the parties will be over. OK You just have to make it until Memorial Day and you can sleep in....OK you just have to make it until your flight leaves......get the picture. If I didn't have to just get through all those things I might just look at the big picture and know exactly how much time is left in this deployment.

Have I shared this little shall I put it? So...what had happened was .......just before Rick left I had my do you know what that you know what it REALLY means? It means I that Rick and I have not "opened presents" (pay attention now so you'll KNOW what I am talking about) for two weeks longer than the rest of the crew and their you get what I'm saying?

AND according to a fellow hysterectomy sister the hysterectomy makes you want to "open presents" more could that be the reason for my uncustomary grouchiness?

I believe it may.........

Being Quiet........

Well...the whole quick to hear and slow to speak thing went really well yesterday...thank God. In my being quiet I was even able to hear a few things that God wanted to say to me...isn't it amazing what can happen we we be quiet before the Lord? was a success....but it was not without its trials......There was a point early in the day that the comments were right there...bubbling to surface .....but thank God for the Holy Ghost because in keeping them back I was able to have a good talk with a good friend.

Because I chose to listed with a spiritual ear instead of a frustrated fleshly ear.....I was able to minister to her and her to me.....we share a common problem...between us 9 kids.....all but four of them old enough to know better. The conversation strengthened our bond. However, had I listened to my flesh and allowed the frustration to talk it could have been very remember what they say about assumptions.....well my flesh wanted assume the reason for her lack of communication early in the day.....But thank God I kept my trap shut and my emotions under submission to the spirit.

I am still struggling with something that happened later in the keeping my mouth shut or my fingers still...its an online thing. I want to respond to the dig...because I am assuming its personal....but it may not I will be quiet until the Lord tells me otherwise. At this point a response would do nothing but satisfy my flesh......not my I will refrain and listen.

I tend to be a very open person about my thoughts and hang its a challenge for me to allow others to live in denial or bondage. I am very honest about the fact that I can be a snob....but I have a friend that calls it reverse snobbery.....I don't want to be....and once I get comfortable and get to know you....I'm really not. I just don't like to get to know people.....because of me...not them. I have a friend that is so outgoing and greets people and puts all that she has into it (I LOVE you Ms Fran:)) I so wish I had that gift and it is a challenge for me because EVERY role in my life requires that I be outgoing and introduce myself...blah blah blah.....

1. Children's Ministry Director....this is where I really should be more outgoing...and I am getting so much better...really I am. My struggle here is double fold......people often look at me crazy because of their own racial it seems when I stick my neck out there and I am extra charming ...I am still that white girl...not all.....but it just takes one to make you retreat and have to start over again the next week. The other issue is me being a woman...many any of my wonderful brothers.....but other men have issues with women in leadership roles. But if they were honest...would they really want to the leader over a group of 153 children, 25 teens,and 35 adults....I think not.

2. The wife of a Senior not a role I am comfortable with.....but only because of other peoples preconceived notions of what senior enlisted spouses are like. I do not feel comfortable at command functions....because I don't fit in...I feel bad and should probably be more involved....I get lectures from Obie about all that I can offer the ladies in the FRG...but I just can't put myself out there....Navy Wives have issues...that i have long outgrown. Now, you may say I am being which I agree.....not all wives have issues.....but the energy it takes to wade through the group to find the ones that don't is to much for me at this point. I have learned to make my friends according to their hearts and not their husbands rank. You may also say that alot of my friends are the same rank as my husband...well that's because we kind of grew up together and the ones who are new friends that are the same rank is because we are the same age and at the same stage of life. I mean come on could you see me hanging out going to the mall and the club...with my belly button pierced? This is not to say I don't have friends that are younger than me...but that's different because they were a gift to me from God...and they are my sisters....I didn't have to wade through the BS to find them...God blessed me with them.

3. The Director of the preschool...this is the role I feel most comfortable...once people realize that I am not a stuck up white chick...which takes them about 10 minutes..then the shock on their face at my down to earthness is kind of nice. I am comfortable here so ....I really don't have reservations about opening up and letting people get to know me. But they expect a woman to run a there is no me being a female issues there. I love what I do and I can deal with being outgoing here better than other places....maybe because children are my life's calling.

OK...well... I am glad this turned out to be about me and not the issue from yesterday......I will look at the beam in my own eye:)

Monday, May 12, 2008

The Beginning

The beginning of a new week....the possibilities are endless.....

So here I sit at o'dark thirty(very early to you nonmilitary types) with the dawning of a new week before me. The outcome of this week while not in my hands...but God's....requires something from me as well.

This week I will be faced with choices, comments, frustrations, disappointments, and the like. I will also be faced with opportunities to laugh, sing, rejoice, and nurture. Both sets of opportunities require action from me...

The negative ones leave me with three options...

1. Embrace the negative and make it my friend....thus allowing myself to be distracted by what God has for me.

2. Ignoring the problem and stuffing it deep down...refusing to deal with it. (Military wives excel at this.....we stuff and stuff and stuff until there is no more room to stuff....and then it gets messy......imagine overstuffing a trash bag in July....bad very bad)

3. Face the problem with the dignity and courage of a woman led by the Spirit.

While number three seems like the most likely that anyone one of us would is a choice that requires dedication and commitment. It also requires:

1. A humble heart...when things come against you your pride and flesh seem to want to take charge and right the wrong done to them. A humble heart does not take offense, it does not ask for vengeance and here's a hard one for does not rant and rave!

2. A commitment to hiding the Word of God in your you may not sin against Him. When the uglies surface in your life...the Word needs to be present in order to defeat for ashes.

3. That you look at each situation as a opportunity to grow and learn. Make lemonade from lemons.....lemonade is a thirst quencher.....maybe if we take the uglies and make them a learning experience it will quench a thirst for something we have inside.....something we don't even know is there.

I have a very bad habit of reacting quickly to those things I am passionate about.....that's bad when the Bible tells us to be quick to hear and slow to speak. This fleshly desire to be quick to speak is a definite thorn in my that I am asking God to help me with.

The positive things in my life require action from me as well....

1. I need to embrace and revel in the opportunities to laugh, sing, rejoice and nurture.

2. I need to take the time out from the uglies and be and pray...for the opportunities to embrace the good things.

The Bible tells us to rejoice that is what I will choose this the sun rises on a new beginning.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Happy Mother's Day

A very Happy Mother's Day to all my sisters...because whether we have born children from our womb...we all nurture and take care of other Happy Mother's Day!

Church was really really really really really so so anointed . The entire program was so amazing and I am proud to call such anointed women of God my sisters. I really needed to cry the tears I let go and I will surely let some more go tonight in my quiet time with God.

My day started @ 2:33am with a text from Tonia and then immediately followed by one from Marchet. Fran and Renee followed up with two more around 6am....all wishing me a Happy Mother's Day. Then nobody wished me Mother's Day until I called my mom and I talked to my Dad. Now, I don't want flashy gifts or flowers....I just want to be appreciated and loved for the sacrifices I make. I completely understand that my children will not understand the totality of my sacrifices until they are old enough to make them for their children. But I do not think it is unreasonable to ask for a day without arguing and fighting....

I am on the edge of a serious breakthrough...I can feel it....its about to explode out of me......I know beyond a shadow of a doubt the message I shared yesterday was just as much for me as it was the ladies God ordained to be there. I can only dig my heels in and trust God to continue the good work he has begun in me.

I have to say that I am blessed to be surrounded by woman of God who love me for me....and who encourage me to be all that God has created me to all of you I say HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

Friday, May 9, 2008

I Have Two Issues Today...

Ok...the military either leaves me speechless or with soooo much to say. Today I have ALOT to say.....

The first being the fact that President Bush declared today Military Spouses Appreciation Day. I find this an insult....some may say I am just being negative or ugly...WHATEVER!!!

Its the same as Mothers Day...why should my family do nice things for me and honor me just on one day of the year....I should have those things everyday!

For the President to take one day and say this is your day is a joke. Do you know how I will be appreciated today? I will work 13 hours , get at least 10 phone calls from my children with ridiculous requests or them tattling on each other about things that don't mean a thing, I will then go home to more arguing and a mess, and at the end of the day I will lay my head down in my bed by MYSELF and drift off to sleep as one lonely tear escapes. I am not sure if that tear is one of gratitude because I made it through another day or sadness. Lets not even talk about what else will be missing as I lay my body down.......

How about old Bush putting his money where his mouth is? How about letting me use my hubbies GI bill...since most of his degree was paid for with Tuition Assistance? How about that?

How about really discounted airfare rates for me to visit my family...instead of the jokes they give now?

How about the people at PSD treating me with respect when I have to go in their to have them fix the mistakes THEY made......that would be great!

How about raising my COLA and BAH since the cost of living is sky rocketing here...gas is 10 cents short of $4 a gallon here for the Deacons car.....

How about meaning what they say. I am tired of getting emails and letters from the Captain saying how valuable we are and how much he appreciates us...blah blah blah! Sorry dude...your pretty words don't match what you say in your office or during your morning meetings.....did you really think our husbands wouldn't come home and share the things you say about their guys and their spouses?

SO to me.....its all a show and how convenient that it is the same week as Mothers Day......

NOW on to my other issue of the day.......banning porn in the military exchanges. See the article here...,15240,167090,00.html?

So this has been a hot topic around here........

Ummm why do woman think its ok for their husbands to look at porn? DO they not see that it is unhealthy for their marriage. I cannot expect everyone to be saved or to look at things the way God sees them, but to think that porn is ok and even good for your marriage stretches my mercy.

What they don't get is that it is like a poison that eats at their marriage. They may think it is harmless and that it doesn't matter...that's what their husbands want them to think. But let me tell you...their husbands are ashamed and and want out of their "hobby" and it is harming their marriage. It is something that comes between their marriage and is a trust issue...whether they want to admit it or not.

Let me ask you this question...How much sense does it make to put 120 men in a tin can under water with porn movies and magazines....I'll answer for you NONE!!!

I pray for my husband while he is underway because porn is everywhere and he doesn't want to look at it...because he knows the power that it can have in his life. It's like any other sinful behavior and it will wrap itself around you and leave you immobile thinking that God could never forgive you or use you.

Women if you don't get it...lets look at the sins that we struggle with... We'll take gossip.....have you ever said ...I will not gossip anymore...only to find yourself doing it? Think about the disappointment you felt in yourself and how guilty you felt..that's how a man feels when he stumbles concerning porn. can call me a narrow minded prude...but I refuse to let the enemy enter my does my husband. Call me what you like...but when we get in bed to "open presents" its only the two of us......

Thursday, May 8, 2008

All I want is.....

All I want right now is too be able to lay my oh so heavy head on my husbands chest and cry myself into a good sleep!

I am almost positive my head weighs at least 25 pounds really is that heavy! I am not sure how it happens.....but every year May is the busiest month for me. I think its because there is Mothers Day and the conference at the church, then next weekend is our Children's Ministry Graduation, and then we are preparing for VBS. Technically, I cannot change any of the dates of these activities. Mothers Day seems to be a national holiday....although no one in my house is aware of this, Children's Ministry Grad has to be that weekend because after that the High School graduations in our state start and go to the middle of June...which means we run the risk of missing kids that pcs in the early summer, and VBS week is the only week of the whole summer that all the kids are out of school!

I am working 13 hour my job then I go home and work some more. I cannot even complain about my hours right now or ever for that matter because I know that this school is God's will and I asked for to complain about something I have waited so long for seems a little foolish.

I just want my man......after 20 years I am done with deployments.....I am done with middle of the night phone calls that can only end in tears when we have to hang up. I am done with raising children who carry many of their fathers qualities...the good and the bad. How fair is it that I am raising the children my mother in law always told Rick would be just like myself?

Fair....we won't even touch that one because I am not getting the fair end of several deals in my life lately and that is not some where you want me to go right now!

So I will attempt to squeeze a massage some where into my day today or when I stand to speak at the conference this Saturday I will not fall over because my head is too heavy to stay up right!

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Asian Chicken Salad

Here in Ewa Beach there is no such thing as "fast food" and we have learned to deal with it....most of the time.

Since I am attemping to lose weight I had determined that I wanted an Asian Chicken salad. I had craved one the whole week before, but was not driving to Kapolei Jack n the Box to get one. I discovered by accident Saturday morning that McDonalds carries an Asian Chicken Salad.

So, Monday I cruise through the Mcd's drive through and order an Asian Chicken Salad. (now mind you that this is the same Mcd's that NEVER in the six year history of my business partner living in Ewa has gotten her order correct AND the same one that extra extra extra extra extra ice means two extra ice cubes in your drink) First, they asked me at the squak box what kind of dressing did I want...ummm...the one that comes with the Asian chicken salad...and I drive up to the payment window and move on to the food window. Again, I am asked what kind of dressing I want? I replied, "The one that comes with the Asian Chicken salad." Would you like Ranch.....NO I would like Asian Chicken salad dressing..the one that makes it AN ASIAN CHICKEN SALAD!!!! We don't have any was her reply....would you like ranch?! NO I want the ginger dressing. She didn't know what to do with me so she walked away and got the manager. Who informed me they were out of the ginger dressing, would I like another kind of dressing.......NO! Then she asked what I reply was...My money back!

This is my point............WHY would you even sell an Asian Chicken Salad if you did not have the dressing that makes it AN ASIAN CHICKEN salad?

So as I am ranting and raving my good friend whom I am on the phone with is googling all the fast food restuarants in Ewa trying to find one that sells Asian Chicken Salads...what a good friend she is.....but to no avail....there were none!

So I had to wait for my Asian Chicken Salad................................

Tell Us What You Think......

Last Friday was a baaadd day for me......One of our teachers aides called in sick on her second day....which would not have been a problem if Zachary had not had his Spring Performance that morning. So my partner and I worked it out so I could be there for his performance...I drove to a friends house who lives across the street, ran across the street, and walked up just in time to see his class perform. I was thankful to God for allowing me to see his performance.....but at the same time it started the tears that I had been holding back since Rick left.

There were other issues that came up that day that added to my stress level and made me cry more. The issues were not the cause for the tears...the fact that my husband is gone and will be gone for quite a while was. So I crawled home to lay on my bed. I KNEW I had to get out of the house otherwise I would be on the downward slope of a good week long crying session. So I called a good friend and we dragged ourselves out to Panda Express and Costco.

As were walking out the door of Costco I glanced at a sign that has been hanging since there since the store opened which said "Tell Us What You Think?" My friend and I just glanced at the sign and then looked at each other and started to laugh......and I said.....I have to blog about that...this is the first chance I have had....

Tell Us What You Think.......

I think.........

*That you SHOULD use the blinker signal on your car...even in the Costco parking lot!
* That your butt crack is not something I want to see while browsing through produce...
* That you might want to pay attention and watch where you are going.....the samples will be there when you pull over to the side or double back to get them!
* That you and your family should NOT walk side by side and take up the whole aisle so no one can get by your slow selves.
* I think that along with the butt crack...your tata's are not something I need to see...even if we are standing in the dairy section.
* I left my kids I don't want to watch where yours are going....
* You shouldn't stop and stare at the big screen tv's just inside the just might get ran over.
* That the fact that I have to cross the stream of out coming shoppers to get into the place is a little ridiculous.
* I hate that you NEVER have anything in my size.....who in Hawaii is THAT small!
* Back to the samples and the tv' you really think it is ok to come to an abrupt halt in the middle of the aisle.....come that how you drive....which takes me back to the blinker signal.

So as you can see that sign was asking a loaded question and I doubt that they really want me to tell them what I think!

Friday, May 2, 2008

Good Moms.........

Ok I have a all good mom's constantly feel like bad mom's? I can answer this for myself....I know I am a good mom....but most of the time I feel like the worst one in the world!

I feel like all I do is referee, redirect, correct, fuss, hollar, and give out attitude adjustments! Motherhood is not at all how I thought it would be.........I know there are ladies out there who bask in motherhood....but then again I guess it makes a difference who you are mothering.

I LOVE my kids...I really really do! But they do not fall far from the tree......Rick and I are both strong-willed.....I will admit HE can be hardheaded (lol) at times.....and we are natural born leaders. Well.... our children are all like us....all four of them......can you imagine having 6 people with the above mentioned personality traits living under one roof peaceably?

I have given birth to great debaters, prosecutors, defense attorney's, and maybe a WWF belt winner. There is a teacher in the group, a rock star-Navy Seal, a scientist (maybe a mad one), and an engineer. I try my absolute best to help them channel all of the natural "gifts" without loosing it...I really really do. But after a week of working 13 + hour days my "channeling" skills are weak.

A simple trip to the commi with all four of them (which is something I try to do ONLY when Rick is with me.....and then I walk away and leave the 5 of them to their "gifts") is enough to push one over the edge.

Did I mention that serious case of always having to have the last word? One child even tried to refer themselves to Jeremiah in the Bible...their words....are shut-up inside them and have to come know Jeremiah said God's words were shut up like fire in his bones. Lord, help me.

The leader in all of them "requires" that butt their nose into each others business and try to order each other around.....then the leader in the one they are trying to order around rebels at the thought of someone else telling them what to do and a huge argument breaks out. When the A/C is on I lock my bedroom door and turn the radio up LOUD and ignore them....but with the windows open I have to intervene...because my neighbors would not appreciate hearing my daughters arguing about a hairbrush at 6@ on a Sunday morning.

So I know I am a good mom...because I love my children and all my fussing and correcting is done out of love and biblically....and for their own good.......but some days I really feel like I am getting no where fast.

Thursday, May 1, 2008


A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself-and especially to feel, or not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at any moment is fine with them. That's what real love amounts to - letting a person be what he really is. - Jim Morrison

While I am not a big fan of Jim Morrison or the Doors, I find quite a bit of truth in the above quote. AND I am IN NO WAY comparing Jim Morrison to Jesus or anything Holy....BUT the quote reminds me of 1 Corinthians 13:7-10 (Message Bible)

If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

I think that the secret of love/friendship is allowing the other person to be who they are without making them feel like they have to put up a front or be who they want you to be......

I also think that if you love someone and you do something that is just something you do and you know it bothers that person....the same person who allows you to be you and loves you anyway...that you should try to shy away from doing that thing.....not to be someone you aren't but out of respect to that persons feelings.

For example.......

I have a friend that goes to the commissary with me and crazy kids (anyone who knows my kids knows that this person and the other person who make regular trips with me are TRUE BLUE friends!).

So we went a couple of times....and I have a habit......if I am not close to the cart return thingy....I just stick my cart out of the way somewhere. I thought about it and I am thinking it came from all those days when I went shopping by myself with my four small children, all who needed some kind of assistance to get buckled in. Once I got all of them buckled in and the stuff unloaded from the cart I wouldn't take the cart back because I didn't want to leave the kids in the car by themselves.

Anyway...we went shopping a couple of hilarious times and each time I would leave my time she kindly put it back for me without saying a word:) But a couple of weeks later she posted in a forum we both belong to...when asked what her pet peeve was.....people who don't put their shopping carts away. I of course waited a couple of weeks and busted her chops...most lovingly!

NOW when we go shopping together I put the cart back...or have one of the little darlings put the cart back. WHY you ask? Well, because she never said a word and still had a smile on her face when she would put my cart back, I felt that as her friend I could do it myself to show her my love...after all she just came from the commissary with me and at least 2 of my kids....that's real it won't kill me to put the cart away. was just a habit I had carried over from when the kids were younger.....why give my friend the peeves over it?