Friday, May 30, 2008

This week....

This week had turned out to be pretty decent.......

Today I have to take the Diva's back to the doctors to have their injuries checked. My daughters are very intelligent beings....having said that I am wondering why they are confused and frustrated because they are not healing as fast as they should be. Do you maybe think that it is because you lose the crutches every time I think a responsible adult is not looking and maybe because every time I turn around I have to tell you to put your sling back on. So this doctors appointment should be interesting. I am sure he has our psych referrals all ready and waiting....

Tonight I am trying to make my nephews graduation. I don't get off until 6pm and it starts at 6pm...I may leave early. This nephew is one of the first children to be in my daycare...he started at 3 years old and is now 18...this is the child who always had to have the red cup, fought with his brother about who would marry Brittany (at 2 and 3 years old), and the who had what appeared to be a scratch on his back that as a good auntie I put a band aide on(Just for those of you who don't know....with preschoolers band aides make everything better)...and it turned out to be the chicken pox. The nephew who has become the older brother to my four children. Wow...they grow up fast..... I love you Drich...now go to college, walk in what God has for you, establish yourself, get married, and make me a great-aunt...in that order...got it?

Yesterday was an interesting day. I wonder at people who think that everything needs to be about them and then in turn spin people up so that they are going at it on their behalf while they sit back and act like the injured, uninterested party. I also wonder about myself....are my standards and expectations of people to high.....am I wrong to hold those who profess Christianity to a certain level OR should I be more gracious and merciful to understand that I am a blessed woman who has received amazing teachings which I had to wrestle with and in my time arrived to where God has placed me? Maybe I expect too much....maybe what is black and white to me is gray to others.

I really struggle with this because I want what is best for those around me...so does God...so when you see people wrestle with their flesh or in this case live in denial of the bondage in their own lives and how they allow it to spill over and become bondage to others....what are you to do. I know what the Holy Spirit has told me about these people and their struggles.....I'm just not sure they are ready for what God says....because once they hear it and receive it...it becomes something that they can not hide from....something they must deal with...otherwise they will have no peace. So as long as they pretend that it is everyone else who is wronging them....and they are just the victim AGAIN...because that is part of their bondage....claiming the role of the victim over and over again...because they have never been delivered or healed of the past..so they snuggle up to the role of the victim and refuse to come out.

I understand that it will hurt to come out......but your living in bondage and pain now.....allowing healing will rid you of the pain. I guess the reason I push is because I have tasted healing and freedom that can only come from being honest with God and yourself.

I need to be more compassionate I know....but I don't do well with those who are in denial...if you want to be honest and say hey....this is where I'm at...and you are seeking what God has for you...I can sooo relate. BUT when you want to stick your head in the sand and pretend.....I get tired of the broken recordness of you....the same mess over and over again.

I am a product of living with a Senior Chief.....those of you who know my man....know he says what needs to be said....sort of stating the obvious..where no one else does because of fear...and then moves to be part of the solution. Everyone knows that if you really want to know what is going on...the unsugar coated for real truth...you ask him or I. It is what it is......

Anyway.....

Wednesday was cool...I got to see Mellie...we unpacked all the VBS stuff at church and went over the decorating plans...its going to be super cool....and for a tired woman she looked pretty put together....that's what opening presents will do for you...makes you gllloooowwww!

Tuesday I spoke at Pomaiak'i Preschools graduation. Had no idea what to say there...but God gave me a message for four groups of people there....said what He told me and I was done. My babies....will always be my babies gave me lei's and hugs on stage.....a group hug that knocked me on my bottom...good thing I wore pants! It was a good night and I was blessed to be a part of their family.


My daughter will say good bye to a very important family in her life tomorrow. My heart breaks for her....all I can do is pray for her.

I spoke with PSD yesterday because I still did not have my intenerary for my trip next week. Here is a a shocker...they sent it to the wrong email address....I knew they would. So they sent it to the right one and now I know when I am out of here for a little TLC from my family and 10 days of sleep!


For my appreciated Grammar Nazi...I know this is pull of too many periods and I made up words...but I just felt them inside of bursting to come out.....I love you!

2 comments:

Dani said...

Jill ... you like ellipses as much as I do (I think that's the right term for ...). Hope your nephew's graduation goes well. Please continue to be open and honest ... it is a blessing.

Mellie said...

I could write a post back to this post! I love that your divas are who they are - they both make me laugh so very hard. Drich - that's a blessed boy indeed, and though I've only known him a short time, his future is bright and it makes me happy for him.
Wednesday - that was a looooong day, but you are SO right - opening presents makes the world right. I am now waiting for the time that you are able to (which is before I will again!). You made me feel good when you said I looked good - fanks!
the last part - whew! Your expectations are high, but I'm not telling you something you don't know. There are times when I feel I don't measure up to your expectations and that's because I'm not where you are. But instead of taking it as you not being gracious or merciful, I use your expectation as a guide, something I want to reach for. You push me, there's no doubt about it, and I'm thankful for it. Yes, I do see some things as grey that in your life are black and white - again, that's a level I want to reach for so I do know, without doubts, that black is black and white is white. I wuff you!