Monday, October 28, 2013

My Anchor

My current life situation has me feeling a bit adrift and since I have been meaning to write about the anchor’s symbolism for some time, today seems like as good a day as any to delve into this blog.

For many years the anchor has been a symbol of honor, courage, and commitment in my life.  It has symbolized the way we have committed to serving and living.  However, recently as I have begun to contemplate a tattoo (perhaps a mid-life crisis) the anchor has been the choice I keep coming back to.  I have considered going completely CPO in my theme, but for some reason I have shied away from making that move. 

Several recent experiences have left me feeling a bit like I was being tossed around in the water and I began to think of the anchor in a different light.  I began to see the anchor as a tool used to keep you from drifting and being destroyed in the storm, as a place of safety and security.
There have been many times in my husbands naval career that I have fought to stay grounded and sought refuge from the storm crashing around me.  I will never forget the day I found out my husbands submarine had been on its way out of the Gulf, when she was turned around and sent back in.  The end of an already long seven month deployment, homecoming, and the ships safety had been within arms reach, and then it was taken.  That morning at early Morning Prayer, our Pastor taught a lesson on Proverbs 24:10 If you faint in the day of adversity, Your strength is small. This scripture immediately sunk into my spirit and gave me the will and strength to fight to stay afloat for my own sanity and the well-being of my children. 

There have been several times since then that I have clung to this scripture, refusing to have small strength because I felt that if my strength was indeed small I would fail those who were depending on me to keep it together, those who were looking at me for answers.  Fear that if I gave into the feelings of despair and let my strength be weak, I may never return.

Where did the strength come from, you may ask?  It came from my relationship with God, from my faith that He was in control of the situation and all I had to do was remain strong and focused on what He had told me, versus focusing on the chaos around me. He must be my anchor; He must be the shelter in the storm.

So, I have decided that my tattoo will indeed be the fouled naval anchor, but rather than honor, courage, and commitment it will say, “Refuse to Sink” and this will be a constant reminder that my strength will not be weak in my days of adversity, as long as I make sure that the anchor which keeps me safe from the storm is God.