Ok....so I think I figured it out with the help of an unsuspecting friend.
I was talking to my friend the day after I posted about not being able to talk to Rick. Now this friend lives the lifestyle I do...she knows the rules and the concerns with communication in my world AND she reads my blog AND we have had this conversation about communicating with our hubbies 100 times before.
So I am on the phone with her and she started to say something then stopped herself. I asked her what she was going to say and with much reluctance she told me...."I was going to ask you if you had heard from Rick!"
She went on to say that she knows in her mind that I cannot, shall not, have not talked to him.....but the words came to her and almost came out of her mouth. This is when it hit me........it's like when someone asks if your broken leg hurts or when they say something like, "they'll be missed" when someone passes away. It's such a horrible thing and they feel like they need to sat something.....
Basically, people don't know what to say to me....it's kind of like watching a train wreck...you want to look away....but the horror of it all keeps you watching! So people want to make me feel better and of course talking to Rick would make me feel better....so they ask if I have....whether they know I can or cannot.
So I will grin and bear the comments because most people are making them out of concern for me.........
1 comment:
you know I felt bad because I was like...hello?! I know you haven't talked to him, but I really knew you needed his shoulder right then, and I soooo wanted it to be for you. I love the trainwreck you let me witness by being part of your family, and I'm quite thankful that I get to sit and watch :P xoxo
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