All I want is.....

All I want right now is too be able to lay my oh so heavy head on my husbands chest and cry myself into a good sleep!



I am almost positive my head weighs at least 25 pounds today....it really is that heavy! I am not sure how it happens.....but every year May is the busiest month for me. I think its because there is Mothers Day and the conference at the church, then next weekend is our Children's Ministry Graduation, and then we are preparing for VBS. Technically, I cannot change any of the dates of these activities. Mothers Day seems to be a national holiday....although no one in my house is aware of this, Children's Ministry Grad has to be that weekend because after that the High School graduations in our state start and go to the middle of June...which means we run the risk of missing kids that pcs in the early summer, and VBS week is the only week of the whole summer that all the kids are out of school!



I am working 13 hour days......at my job then I go home and work some more. I cannot even complain about my hours right now or ever for that matter because I know that this school is God's will and I asked for it...so to complain about something I have waited so long for seems a little foolish.



I just want my man......after 20 years I am done with deployments.....I am done with middle of the night phone calls that can only end in tears when we have to hang up. I am done with raising children who carry many of their fathers qualities...the good and the bad. How fair is it that I am raising the children my mother in law always told Rick would be just like him....by myself?

Fair....we won't even touch that one because I am not getting the fair end of several deals in my life lately and that is not some where you want me to go right now!

So I will attempt to squeeze a massage some where into my day today or tomorrow......so when I stand to speak at the conference this Saturday I will not fall over because my head is too heavy to stay up right!