Tuesday, December 30, 2008

The year in review.....

It may take me a while to write this one...I feel like this year was at least a decade long!
While it was a long and painful year, one full of emotional ups and downs I can say that I am truly grateful that I had God walking along side me through it...I even suspect that He carried me through a great deal of it.

The year started with my hysterectomy....which believe it or not was not one of the down times...it was a blessing and I am thankful to be free of all that came with having that stubborn uterus of mine! My surgery and recovery went well...despite the two biopsies they had to do afterwards just to be sure.

Just 14 days after my surgery my husband left for a six month deployment...what we were thinking? Well, in the beginning I was trying to wait until he came back to have the surgery....but two months of agony cured me of that thought process...which meant I had a choice to make wait and suffer for 6-7 months and risk the possibility of more biopsies and waiting....just so he could be home for my full recovery....OR have it right before he left, recover with the help of the kids (oxymoron if there ever was one)...but be pain free, So we decided to go for it before he left. That meant the poor guy went 6 months and 2 weeks without any due benevolence......ahh the life of a sailor!

Next came the opening of the preschool. We had worked long and hard for that moment and it was such a blessing and relief to see it come to pass. However, what we did not anticipate was the complications of bringing two people together from two different backgrounds which brought two different meanings to the foundational building blocks of a business. It was a struggle and I shed a lot of tears. I carried so much inside that it started to affect my health and well being.

I truly believe that when my partner made the statement..."If you need to get paid, you need to find another job," my subconscious was relieved. I had been working 12-13 hour days, keeping in things I should have been saying to keep the peace,and was definitely in a state of depression.

At that point I just saw a way out of the oppression....and I prayed and asked God what He wanted me to do and when He answered in His word....Depart from this place Depart from this place...I made a hasty departure. I cut it all off....in hindsight it probably wasn't the best way to leave....but I working with God to fix it:)

Less than 24 hours after being told to find a new job...I had an interview...and then less than 24 working hours later I had I job that today I can say I love and that I am so thankful for.

Days after receiving the new job my husband came home from pac...this was the hardest pac of his entire career for us...it was a miracle that we made it out in one piece. Separation is really hard on a marriage...add inconsistent email communication and there is a huge area where misunderstandings and misconceptions can come in. He had no way of knowing the pressure I was under at the preschool and in our fiances because of the preschool and there was no way I was going to put all of that in an email that the whole seventh fleet may get a chance to read.....so I blogged which made him feel like I was communicating with others rather than him....but the things I needed to tell him I couldn't tell him through email.....so I let steam off here with you my friends.

But he did come home and I am thankful for the healing God has brought. I am also thankful for the healing that has been going on in his relationship with Britt. They are two of a kind and tend to bump heads...he just wants what's best for her and doesn't trust boys her age...he still remembers what it was like....and she wants to be seen as a young woman, an adult and he isn't ready for her to be one....due mostly to the fact that he has missed most of her growing up .

Next, came my families visit...it was wonderful...it really was. Yes, we had one big blow out....but hey we don't see each other that often and I think one every once in a while is a good thing...I just pray that we can all find healing and love in the aftermath(bro and sis's......I will be heading over to our blog to address this...so stay tuned:) But it was a great trip, whose idea was born out of love. About 5 or 6 years ago my mother fell down the stairs and was unconscious in ICU for over 30 days. During a family visit(which was actually suppose to be my sisters wedding day...which THANK GOD it was not:)) we started to talk about my parents 40th wedding anniversary and how we wanted to do something special for them. The first idea was a wedding reception...but we changed that idea because none of us live in NY...so we had a family trip to Hawaii.

It was great and it went very well...thanks to my brothers planning and desire to make sure we all had a great time:) But then it came time for them to leave. I will tell you internets I have cried every day since they left...I miss my family:) It has even had me looking a houses in New Hampshire:( AND made my heart jump when Rick came home with the list of possible orders in hand...one of them for an ANAV on a boat in the NH shipyard...yeah like I could sell my house in this market!

I feel like this year was not such a good year for me in regards to my relationship with Christ...I feel like I stumbled and fell in so many ways....I let circumstances and fear speak louder than His love and Word. I think that is my biggest regret for this year...because He is the only thing that kept me sane this year and I repaid Him by allowing others to crowd our relationship....I am working on forgiving myself.

God blessed us greatly this year to see so many milestones....Josh, Andrew, and Netta graduated from Jr High, OJ and Darius from high school. Josh and Andrew went out for and made the jv football team...then stuck with all the long grueling practices...I am so PROUD of them. Britt went out for and made the Varsity cheer leading squad...she so something and she went after it. Jay and Khat had their baby girl. Shalei and Mike got married, Chantel and Charles got married and pregnant...in that order:) My parents celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary. So very many blessings...I am thankful!

The next year brings so many changes...Britt will graduate, turn 18, and go off to college...all within a 3 month time frame. I will finish my BA and start my masters. Rick will ride a boat as his own for the last time (or so we think....you never can tell), and Becca will start high school...and these are just the changes that I know of:)


Kat said...

I have been reading your blog for a few months and all I can say is that I am sending you a big hug. Also, we were stationed at the shipyard in Kittery Maine and we loved it. I was born and raised in NH so I loved going home. Hope that this year is a wonderful year for you and your family.

Miss Hope said...

What a wonderful re-cap. I am in awe of how fast this year has gone by. I enjoyed reading this post alot. Prayers for blessings in 2009!!!