The Preschool....

Ok I have finally come to the place where I can accept that it's not God's will for me to be at the preschool and that I did was I was suppose to do AND the place where I can let go of the anger and hurt of how it happened.

It would be really pointless to tell you all what happened because I have discovered something on this little journey.....each persons perception is their reality and no matter what anyone else says it will remain how they see things.

My ex-partner has her version and perception and I have mine. I am quite sure that neither of them are absolute and that the truth is somewhere in the middle.

Our perceptions of any given situation are determined by many things: our past experiences, our values, our morals, our priorities, our integrity, our education, our culture, our religious beliefs and maturity...the list goes on and on.....

No two people will have the same perception of any given event, there will always be slight differences. When you talk about offering something like quality education there is much room for each person to have differing opinions. Your experience, education, and understanding of education are going to shape how you see quality education and the things required to achieve it.
Managing and leading people is also going to differ...even if you are saying the same key words....it doesn't mean that you both have the same definition of those same words or that they mean the exact same things to each of you.

Also, things will mean different things depending on what position you hold...if you are the person who is responsible for making sure the quality education occurs then you will be looking for all the tools required to make that happen because that is your responsibility. If you are the person responsible for paying the bills you may not see the items needed to provide a quality education as important as you see paying the bills....because paying the bills is your responsibility.

For me it was a very valuable lesson on many levels. I learned so much setting up the preschool from scratch....I loved every minute of it. I also learned that with my personality and my views on how to get things done to a certain standard that I will never go into business with anyone but myself again, In my mind I know what I think is right and what is wrong, what is acceptable and what is unacceptable....again my perception. BUT I am stubborn and unwilling to compromise my stance on many things, which I am sure makes me a joy to work with:) So it is best that I not go into business with anyone....

So there it is....

I just decided what I want to be when I grow up....

I have say that I am a really great preschool teacher....I'm not being boastful...I just really love teaching children. However, having done it for 17 years I was beginning to lose my excitement and I was teaching out of habit rather than excitement. Then I moved on to Directing which I also enjoy.

My new job is with PATCH Hawaii. The major focus of my job is to recruit, mentor, and assist Family Child Care providers. But like most jobs in Early Childhood Education I wear many hats. Today I think I found the hat that fits the "bestest" My boss asked me if i was available to teach a class on Talking with Preschoolers tonight, to which I responded yes!

It was amazing to teach about something I am so passionate about. To take all the skills and experience I have gained in early childhood education and the classroom and teach them to those who will in turn take them and adapt them into their classrooms and daily schedules was a rush.

I absolutely LOVED it. I think I have my answer to whether I will go back to school for my Masters...yes yes yes So I can teach our future generations of preschool teachers at the college level!!!

I have somethings I want to share...

I really do have somethings I want to share...the good the bad and the ugly:)

*The preschool....ugly.....I have been putting it off because I wasn't ready to deal with it yet....but I see a glimmer of hope and the beginning of healing...so I will be able to share soon:)

*The good my husband came home from WEST PAC...it has been long enough that I won't feel like I am violating any rules and regs in sharing that:)

* More good....I really like my job and I am blessed and excited by the new opportunities it offers.

* Still more good......my families visit was great and you can learn more about it on our family blog:)

* Bad bad bad...Mellie really is leaving:(

* There is another good...the kids have realized Britt is leaving and have started to get along a smidge better...just a smidge:)

BUT I am super tired so I cannot write about these things tonight...or tomorrow night because I have to teach a class tomorrow night (one of the good things about my job:)) So hopefully this weekend I will have time to share :)

On Being A Navy Wife.....

Many people assume that the hard or difficult part of being a Navy wife is the constant separation, but in reality it is not. The enemy we all struggle with is named "Yes, No, and Maybe."

Yes we are leaving today so I need to be at work at 5:30am. Later that day...maybe I will be leaving today but I'm not sure, but if we aren't I will be here until late. An hour later "No, we are not leaving so come get me now."

Yes, I am up for orders, maybe we will get what we want, no I have no idea when we will hear anything.

Yes, I am up for promotion, no I don't know when we will hear anything...once you make it...maybe we will get paid for it before the cows come home.

Yes, I will be here for Thanksgiving go ahead and make those camping reservations. Two weeks later....no I won't be here cancel the camping reservations.....three days later...Maybe I will be here can you get those reservations back?

This is what Navy wives live with on s consistent basis. We have been attached to subs that have sat pier side so long, waiting to go out to sea for so long that the shipyard has begun calling them building ***(insert hull number). Everyday for a month I would drop him off with a goodbye only to return to pick him up later that day. When they finally left I was not ready for it and in a state of shock.

I can handle anything as long as I can come up with a plan. I can handle him being gone and the truck breaking and the kids having to be in four different places at once all while maintaining my sanity.....if I can plan ahead. However, this constant state yes I will be here, no I won't be here, maybe I won't be here is about to drive me mad. You would think after 20 years of it I might have gotten used to it.....sorry no I haven't.

I have learned to plan without him and to keep rolling....but when you add a please, maybe I might need you to pick me up into the above chaos the ball stops rolling in one direction and begins to have some sort of spasms.


So to the Navy...YES I was in my right mind when this all began, NO I am not liking this tour, and MAYBE I will still be sane when this tour is over.

I Think It Should Be Illegal.....

To require the spouse of an active duty member to work on Veterans Day:( Yes, my friends I am at work and will be here all day. the truth of the matter is that it didn't bother me before yesterday because Rick was suppose to be gone. Those of you who understand the submarine lifestyle know that "suppose to be gone" really means nothing. So I left the house this morning with my family all snuggled into the bed :( sigh

The Countdown is On....

Well......the battery in my SUV decided that blowing up and spewing battery acid every where was a fine thing to do on a Monday evening....so that's what it did last week. Rick and I were too busy to deal with replacing the battery so we just carpooled last week. So Saturday morning we went to take the battery in to replace it and we discovered that it was under warranty, so we called the dealer and they told us we couldn't just bring the battery in we had to bring the whole vehicle in. So the tow truck showed up and off she went.......which is where she still is. This means all 6 of us have been getting around in Rick's Jag....and let me tell you it is a very tight fit.

I said all that to say this......

Yesterday we went to Uncle Mike and Carolyn's for a cook out....which means that all of us rode together out to Waianae in close comfort. I made the comment that we will only be living together as a family for a couple more months and then after that we will never live together as we are now. My youngest two gave me a bewildered look and asked what I meant. My response was that Britt is going off to college next year and after that she will probably never live at home again. Apparently, in all the college talk and arguing over who was going to get which room it never occured to my two youngest that their sister was going to move on to the next phase of her life....without them.

This is when the tears began....Becca just sat there and outright bawled and Zach put a blanket over his head to disguise his tears. Me....I have been crying for months. A song that they play at al lthe graduations came on the radio the other day and I started tearing up...Rick finds it highly amusing, but we will see who is crying next summer. I suspect that he will have his share of tears also.

She has started to put her college applications is and is scouting out scholarships...she is excited about moving on and I am excited for her....but I am really going to miss her:(

MONDAY MONDAY......

Oh how you drag on......I suppose it may have something to do with the doctor who suggested that I take muscle relaxers three times a week as opposed to him doing his job and adjusting my hip bones. Seriously, if you can't do it please refer me to a doctor that is not scared.....