Have you ever wanted to know what was in store
ahead of you, where you would be, what you would be doing? Have you ever
thought to yourself, "I just want this situation to be over?" or
"I don't know how much more of this I can take?" Looking back
over the last three months there is no way I could have expected things to turn
out the way they did.
As often happens, Rick leaves and I find myself
alone with some time to think and process things and the opportunity to sort
them out enough to write about them, this was the case tonight. I though
perhaps I would go see what I lasted blogged about, because I couldn't remember
when the last time I blogged had been. To my surprise the last blog was
written the week of Thanksgiving 2013, which unbeknownst to me was also the
middle of a huge change that was about to take place in my life.
Ironically, the blog below is a blog where I wrote about coming to the
place where I was going to appreciate me, right where I was. Regardless,
of what others thought about me and how I was treated I committed to myself
that the opinions of others who did not have my best interest at heart would
not control my happiness.
What am I talking about? Well, as I alluded
to in the post below I was struggling in my professional life. I was
working for someone with no ethics, no leadership skills, and who was so
insecure with herself that she sought to make everyone around her question
their own abilities. Never in all my years as a federal employee had I
ever seen such poor treatment of employees go unchecked and uncorrected.
I struggled with a year of, "How much longer can I put up with
this?" I considered moving back to Hawaii with the kids to find fulfillment
in my career, but in the end did not think it was fair to my husband to take
the last years our youngest son was to live at home away from him. I
looked for other positions within the organization, only to have my boss make
sure those doors got slammed shut with her slanderous words. I thought
about quitting, but in the end refused to give up my career and my time in
federal service all because of someone else, I didn't want her to have that
power over me.
The week prior to Thanksgiving was an especially
hard week, where the entire management team was accused of things, battered,
abused, and treated poorly. After seeing my boss in the Exchange the
weekend before Thanksgiving and had to deal with more of her negative energy
and nastiness something in me broke. I made the decision that day that I was no
longer going to be treated that way and I was going to use the proper channels
to file an official complaint and let the chips fall where they may. I
realized my own self worth and decided for myself enough was enough. So I
made some calls that weekend, and began to pursue the path of standing up for
myself. What I did not know was that the other managers ALL reached that
breaking point that weekend, and as of Monday morning all of started to file
formal complaints. What we all did not know was that our boss for all intents
and purposes had quit that week, without knowing we all had reached our
breaking points, she reached hers and quit.
What I find so powerful in all of this is that it
was not until all the managers, these talented professional women who had
struggled with being beat down verbally and emotionally for a year all reached
their breaking point that the struggle was broken in the work place. It
wasn't until we all decided that we were valuable and worth more than we were
getting, until we decided that enough was enough that things changed.
It wasn't until I decided in my mind, heart, and
soul that I would not allow myself to be treated this way that my breakthrough
came.
Since, that moment I have worked some of the
longest hours of my career as the remaining three managers struggled to keep
the programs running in the absence of three managers. However, even on
the longest days, we were happier than we had been in a year. Things have
shifted for not just those who reached their breaking point and decided enough
is enough, but the organization as a whole is benefitting from being free to
enjoy their work environment as professionals. We all have new positions,
and have found that we really like each other and we are an awesome team.
In closing I would like to say, that often times we
are the ones to hold the key to change in our lives. Certain situations
are going to remain in your life until you decide that they are unacceptable
and do something about it.
Ask
yourself, what situation are you holding the key to in your life?
