Tuesday, December 30, 2008
While it was a long and painful year, one full of emotional ups and downs I can say that I am truly grateful that I had God walking along side me through it...I even suspect that He carried me through a great deal of it.
The year started with my hysterectomy....which believe it or not was not one of the down times...it was a blessing and I am thankful to be free of all that came with having that stubborn uterus of mine! My surgery and recovery went well...despite the two biopsies they had to do afterwards just to be sure.
Just 14 days after my surgery my husband left for a six month deployment...what we were thinking? Well, in the beginning I was trying to wait until he came back to have the surgery....but two months of agony cured me of that thought process...which meant I had a choice to make wait and suffer for 6-7 months and risk the possibility of more biopsies and waiting....just so he could be home for my full recovery....OR have it right before he left, recover with the help of the kids (oxymoron if there ever was one)...but be pain free, So we decided to go for it before he left. That meant the poor guy went 6 months and 2 weeks without any due benevolence......ahh the life of a sailor!
Next came the opening of the preschool. We had worked long and hard for that moment and it was such a blessing and relief to see it come to pass. However, what we did not anticipate was the complications of bringing two people together from two different backgrounds which brought two different meanings to the foundational building blocks of a business. It was a struggle and I shed a lot of tears. I carried so much inside that it started to affect my health and well being.
I truly believe that when my partner made the statement..."If you need to get paid, you need to find another job," my subconscious was relieved. I had been working 12-13 hour days, keeping in things I should have been saying to keep the peace,and was definitely in a state of depression.
At that point I just saw a way out of the oppression....and I prayed and asked God what He wanted me to do and when He answered in His word....Depart from this place Depart from this place...I made a hasty departure. I cut it all off....in hindsight it probably wasn't the best way to leave....but I working with God to fix it:)
Less than 24 hours after being told to find a new job...I had an interview...and then less than 24 working hours later I had I job that today I can say I love and that I am so thankful for.
Days after receiving the new job my husband came home from pac...this was the hardest pac of his entire career for us...it was a miracle that we made it out in one piece. Separation is really hard on a marriage...add inconsistent email communication and there is a huge area where misunderstandings and misconceptions can come in. He had no way of knowing the pressure I was under at the preschool and in our fiances because of the preschool and there was no way I was going to put all of that in an email that the whole seventh fleet may get a chance to read.....so I blogged which made him feel like I was communicating with others rather than him....but the things I needed to tell him I couldn't tell him through email.....so I let steam off here with you my friends.
But he did come home and I am thankful for the healing God has brought. I am also thankful for the healing that has been going on in his relationship with Britt. They are two of a kind and tend to bump heads...he just wants what's best for her and doesn't trust boys her age...he still remembers what it was like....and she wants to be seen as a young woman, an adult and he isn't ready for her to be one....due mostly to the fact that he has missed most of her growing up .
Next, came my families visit...it was wonderful...it really was. Yes, we had one big blow out....but hey we don't see each other that often and I think one every once in a while is a good thing...I just pray that we can all find healing and love in the aftermath(bro and sis's......I will be heading over to our blog to address this...so stay tuned:) But it was a great trip, whose idea was born out of love. About 5 or 6 years ago my mother fell down the stairs and was unconscious in ICU for over 30 days. During a family visit(which was actually suppose to be my sisters wedding day...which THANK GOD it was not:)) we started to talk about my parents 40th wedding anniversary and how we wanted to do something special for them. The first idea was a wedding reception...but we changed that idea because none of us live in NY...so we had a family trip to Hawaii.
It was great and it went very well...thanks to my brothers planning and desire to make sure we all had a great time:) But then it came time for them to leave. I will tell you internets I have cried every day since they left...I miss my family:) It has even had me looking a houses in New Hampshire:( AND made my heart jump when Rick came home with the list of possible orders in hand...one of them for an ANAV on a boat in the NH shipyard...yeah like I could sell my house in this market!
I feel like this year was not such a good year for me in regards to my relationship with Christ...I feel like I stumbled and fell in so many ways....I let circumstances and fear speak louder than His love and Word. I think that is my biggest regret for this year...because He is the only thing that kept me sane this year and I repaid Him by allowing others to crowd our relationship....I am working on forgiving myself.
God blessed us greatly this year to see so many milestones....Josh, Andrew, and Netta graduated from Jr High, OJ and Darius from high school. Josh and Andrew went out for and made the jv football team...then stuck with all the long grueling practices...I am so PROUD of them. Britt went out for and made the Varsity cheer leading squad...she so something and she went after it. Jay and Khat had their baby girl. Shalei and Mike got married, Chantel and Charles got married and pregnant...in that order:) My parents celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary. So very many blessings...I am thankful!
The next year brings so many changes...Britt will graduate, turn 18, and go off to college...all within a 3 month time frame. I will finish my BA and start my masters. Rick will ride a boat as his own for the last time (or so we think....you never can tell), and Becca will start high school...and these are just the changes that I know of:)
The generic ones offered really don't suit my personality...lol Does anyone have any advice on how to change the layout to one not offered by blogger?
Until his graduating class had their 20th reunion...yes he is old... he will be 39 in less than a month which brings him closer to 40 than I am:) After the reunion invites to facebook were flying and he begrudgingly joined....now he is on there daily...he even let our youngest daughter get one...wow.
So he is getting to know people he hasn't seen in over 20 years....and now I think he gets it:)
Monday, December 29, 2008
Why is it that people with monster trucks feel it is necessary to come to almost a complete stop when going over speed bumps?!?! You must be thinking really Jill this has gotten you irritated?
Let me explain ......our community has about a billion kids running around every day....so from the main street to my house there are 6 speed bumps.....where I park at work has speed bumps every 25 yards or so.....for 6 floors...so as I have to follow all these big truck driving people as they go painfully slow over the speed bumps...I have a lot of time to think!
They are TRUCKS people....big v-8 having engine trucks...they are built for a little bump in the road here and there...there is no need to come to a complete stop and then ease over them. Put your foot on the gas and go!
I can say this because I drive an Armada....which is fitting seeing how my husband is in the Navy....let me know if you got that one!?! It is a monsterous v8 engine having affair...I ride over curbs sometimes just so the poor thing can see some real action. So I just glide over the bumps...I don't rush at them like I am in a cross country race...I just approach them and glide. Let's say it together...GLIDE For Pete's sake I go over them faster in Rick's car and its a low to the ground sports car...GLIDE I say GLIDE!!!!
I spend more time waiting at traffic lights in Ewa (they have been times...all of them on Fort Weaver Rd are 4 minutes each people....4minutes) and waiting for lolo's to meander over speed bumps than I do blogging these days!
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Twenty billion Christmas lights Wasteful
Twenty million air conditioners running Comfortable
Family and friends at the house Joyful
NO ELECTRICITY ON THE WHOLE ISLAND PRICELESS
Yes, internets....the entire island was without electricity for 9 hours last night...some still don't have electricity.
Thankfully, I had gotten up from the table to make dinner when the notion came to me...because I had just taken our turkey pot pies out of the oven...so we had dinner. Sheila and I were sitting at the table working on center pieces for the teen social tonight when the lights went out...so that ended the process right there.
We all ate dinner and chilled for a while. Then we ended up with all five teens who spent the night playing cards by candle night...while we went to bed.
I thought about taking pictures....but I couldn't find the camera in the dark....and ummm it was dark. I mean REALLLLLYYYYY dark......imagine the whole island with no power.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Once we got home he set up camp on the couch to watch tv in the living room...something he knows he can only do because he is sick. At this point lets just say that my washing machine and clorox are very busy today:( Rick and I have managed to juggle our schedules so that we can stay home with him tomorrow.
Other than that the other kids are wrapping up their last day of school and getting ready for their Christmas break. Tonight Britt is going to the ballet with the cheerleaders and Josh and Becca will probably veg out.
Rick goes on leave tomorrow and standown begins. Me...tonight I have to teach a class and tomorrow I have a presentation at one of the high schools.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
At every turn we hear about how the economy is failing and how we all need to do what we can to secure our finances and keep our heads above water. The news is telling us of bailouts, bankruptcies, and the dismal retail numbers. HOWEVER every commercial within the news cast is prompting you to buy the most expensive, flashy items you can find AND if you don’t you really don’t want what is best for your family.
I have never been a fan of advertising certain products….take for instance all the toys and products that are advertised during children’s shows…making children think they need that toy to be cool or have their lives complete. Or the commercials that make teenagers think that every teen has a top of the model phone…yeah right! My absolute number one on the low down dirty list of tricks advertising trickery is (*drum roll please…..) the candy in the check out aisle of the grocery store!!!!!! Come on by the time I get to the check out my nerves have had it (well my kids are older now so it’s not so bad….but I remember the pain and the agony of days gone by)
So here’s my message to all those toy, cell phone, jewelry, car, video game, music apparatus companies…..
How about if you all tone down the advertising onslaught that you usually engage in at Christmas time and join the rest of the country in attempting get the economy under control. I understand you need to make your money and you think your annoying commercials are going to brainwash me into running out and spending thousands of dollars I don’t have which will of course push me further in the hole and increase your profit.
AHA! This is the way it suppose to work. I am suppose to spend $40k on a SUV, make my monthly payments, pay my insurance, pay for gas, and repairs, and still bail you out? Does anyone else see the problem with this plan? I still have to pay my bills….failing companies so should you…hellllllooooo when people stop making their payments for their vehicles to you….do you offer to bail them out? Do you offer them assistance? No you make nasty phone calls to them…..well guess what? I think someone should make nasty phone calls to you! I say America should give them some of their own medicine.
Anyway back to this Christmas present thing. I think that EVEYONE is exercising caution this year, because it’s the wise thing to do. I think that the companies that make all of the items that are shoved in our faces night after night on the boob tube should join America in trying to cut back in all the unnecessary spending and be quiet!!!
And let me add here...Christmas is not supposed to be and was never meant to be about presents. It is about the birth of Christ the Saviour. I think those that choose to cut back on their spending this year and give the gift of time to their families will be like the man in the Bible whose master left him with the money and he invested it and it gave a profit. AND those who chose to buy into the commercialism of Christmas and those bloody advertisers will be like the man whose master gave him money and he hid it....making no profit.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
When I got to work it was raining through the ceiling in the office next mine....yes through the ceiling....so we moved everything out of the office into the hallway.
The good news is that it only took me 40 minutes to get from my desk to my front door....that's incredible in Hawaii. The bad news is that it is suppose to pour all night again. I am going to work super early so I can beat the traffic tomorrow morning.
Tonight is a duty night so it is left overs and Grey's Anatomy:)
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
BUT every time I go in my sock drawer for socks there are NONE. I know where they are....hiding under beds, in gym bags, lying of the floor of teenagers...I even saw one under one of their pillows recently. How can you just take my sock and wear them like they are your own.....it's not like I don't buy you socks of your own.....but you never have any clean because you don't care to do your laundry. AND please please stop taking my underwear......
Don't worry I do not want the socks of the underwear back. I have issues with socks....they have to be white. Don't try to give me back the ones you wore all thought the streets of the neighborhood.....or the ones that look like you walked on hot molten lava with. Keep the nasty socks....you underwear/sock stealing keiki's.
Maybe I will buy some nice new socks and write "these are my mommies socks and I am wearing them because I am too lazy to do my own laundry...oh! and I might have her underwear on too" all over them in neon pink!!!!
Monday, December 8, 2008
The very important detail that was left out Saturday came to light today. Apparently, when they did the xrays for the pneumonia they told my mom that she needed to get to the oncologist as soon as possible. Now to be honest that they said this is not a shock....but it is painful. My mother is a breast cancer survivor so for cancer to be mentioned is not a road that we have been down before. What makes it painful is that in spite of the fact that my mother beat cancer she continued to smoke like a chimney.
I really don't even have any words to say right now. I normally would ask for prayer from those who surround me and have been placed by God in my life to be part of my prayer circle, but I can't even bring myself to say it to them. I have talked to several of them today, so its not like I haven't had a chance...I just can't say it...so I am writing it.
So I am emotional case right now. Add to it something that is being changed and rearranged in me by God and I basically cry at the drop of a hat.
What's going on around here? Well let's see the week of Thanksgiving I had some icky ucky stomach thing. I was out of work for two days and thankfully I was able to eat a little of Auntie Carolyn's yummy Thanksgiving dinner.....but then I crashed on the couch. Once i woke up we played a competitive game of Phase 10..always competitive. Then we crashed on the couch again and ate some dessert!
The next day we went to the football playoffs...at which our team got slaughtered....it was really sad:( My daughter is now done with football cheering and we now move on to basketball.
Last week was crazy hectic with work, the chiropractor, and Rick's Christmas party. Work is good and I am enjoying what I do. The chiropractor is pretty cool...all that bone popping seems to be helping. Now Rick's Christmas party....was the lamest Christmas party I have been too in his entire Navy career.....that's 20 Christmas parties. The food was horrid, the entertainment was dismal and the prizes were pathetic. I was made I missed a hot bath and Grey's Anatomy for that one.
We are looking for orders. Right now the idea of 30 years sounds just peachy to me. You see by that time all my kids will be out of the house and I will not need to make enough to feed a small army. Additionally, my husband who is really a kid at heart is going to need all of my attention when he makes that transition from being active duty to civilian. So the orders they are proposing will take us out to thirty years....because if he takes these orders he will not have time to finish his degree. This means one more sea tour and a shore to finish the degree.
I love my husband, he truly is my best friend but I know in my heart of hearts this is going to be a rough transition for him......so if it means he has to do 30 so when he gets out I will be able to give him 110% of my attention instead of splitting it between him and three teenagers....I'm ok with that.
This past Saturday was the Hawaii ROTC ball. As mentioned earlier this is the only time my tow older ones will ever attend a formal event together. It was nice and we even got pictures....
This is Joshua, Brittany (mine), Alycea, and Andrew (Ms. Fran's) all dressed up and ready to go.... There was much drama and posing in order to get this picture. From what we were told a good time was had by all.
The picture was actually taken in the middle of the Chidlren's Ministry Christmas party....so they had an audience! The party was nice...a little low key for us because we are all exhausted!
After the party we went to OJ's basketball game. His school was in from the mainland to play HPU. Have to say it was a pretty good game!
Sunday was Zman's birthday. He rose his new bike and I think today he ate all of the remaining cake....after he had cupcakes at school and at church yesterday....wow!